The Me Inside....

I wonder how it feels like.  To go home, see your friend,  ... and just cry without having to explain anything.  I reckon that feels great.  I want what Addison and Nay have!  *sulk sulk* It gets lonely sometimes.  Too much reasoning.  Way too much.  Having to be the 'glue' in most thing.  .... the silence sacrifice and all.  It's just one of those days...

Had an about 2 hrs meeting with Mervi and Denny yesterday.  I feel soo small talking to them deh.  They have the knowledge, and most importantly... they have the deeds.  Uaah...  Came home, set my heart right, and sekarang ngantuk.  Rada2 ga nyambung emang..  but I feel overwhelm.  Overwhelm with gratitudes. Im loved.  ... by a wonderful husband,  ... by a great friend,  ... by awesome parents, ... by a magnificent God.  Terimakasih.

You know what?  I've been watching the old episodes of Grey's Anatomy for the past few days, and its so soapish its schmaltzy blah-ness. Addicting? O yes!  ... but its just weird.  Everybody sleeps with everybody else, and everyone is dating someone they should not date, or in love with someone who they should not be in love with. Grey's Anatomy. Private Practice. Neurotic, attractive, professional women having problems staying in a proper relationship.  They were based on people who were too weak to take a risk,  ... or too comfortable being problematic.  These are girls who will find problems in a happy life, and then two minutes later spend 10 hours wondering what went wrong. Relationships should be easy, but these stupid chick flicks are brainwashing the lot of us.  Life was meant to be live it, meet a wonderful guy, marry him, have kids and take care of them and shower them (and be showered)  with lots and loottsss of love. At least my live is heading to that direction...

About a month ago, I took a risk.  A huge one, that is.  Risk.... I call it faith.  It require a great deal of trust and optimistic hopefulness. Im glad for a very supportive husband, family and friend. ... who had allowed me to grow and mature in this phase of my life.  I wasn't much of a risk taker in the past,  I used to be careful in making sure all of all possible outcomes prior to making decisions. .... but this time is different.  It's like walking into an abyss. Now is the time to wait again.  Time for faith to grow even stronger.  Trust means putting a little bit of faith into the heart, and putting aside fear,  and taking the leap away.

I tagged my mami to a salon in the neighborhood.  Krimbat and cuci rambut.  Pas bayar... you know how much??  Rp. 12,500! dua belas ribu lima ratus.  Potong juga 12,500 disitu....  And here I am, wanting to make appointment with Agus.  Rp. 300,000 for a haircut. Jadi ga enak atii.... huhuhuhu....  tip-nya Agus aja lebih gede dari harga potong rambut di May Salon. Agus uda ga di Tony n Guy lagi...  dia pindah ke FX... ga tau nama salonnya apa... tp jadi lebih mahal.. cukur ga ya?  cukur... ngga... cukur.... ngga.... cukur... ngga.... nggga.... cukur... ngga... cukur...  Ah!!