The Me Inside....

Relationship (R) - Rated I like Jose Carol. he conveyed the message across so well. There were 25 couples. Umurnya ranges from 21 - 29.... trus lama pacarannya ranges from 1 month - 8 years. Been eating a lot lately. Kata Fenlie napsu makan gw kayak naga. Males banget kerja hari ini. ... untungnya sih tadi 1/2 arian pergi ke JAMSOSTEK and Danamon. Itung2 ngabisin waktu lah. Sekarang malah udah waktunya pulang.. heuheughua.. senangnyaaa

Better? Feel betteran today... i think. Kemaren kan lagi sebel aja. Things were getting on top of me, but I guess I don't wanna be a quitter. It takes time kali ya?

WHACKY MOODS ON! Novi texted and wanted to hang out this Saturday. No can't do Nov.... gotta go with Eka and Ghia. Males juga sih sebenernya... huehuhuaa Sabtu ini Om Djien n family dateng dari Jambi n nginep dirumah. Cousin James is getting married di Dharmawangsa Hotel... *wuiiih, belon pernah tu kesana... katanya sih super mewah* Tapi gw lagi not in the mood buat basa basi... I think I might just take off to watch late show or sumthing..... Won't be coming to DATE this Sat. Partly coz I made a promise to Eka to help her pack her stuff. Mostly coz I don't feel like it. I couldn't help myself but to compare between FA and DATE. Just had pemecahan cell last 2 weeks and honestly, it felt soooo devastating. Im not exagerating, emang beneran kayak gitu. Beda banget sama suasana di DATE yg everybody jauuh lebih independen. Kalo soal kebersamaan, FA is much much better. Gw bisa bilang kalo mereka itu bener2 kayak keluarga. Kelebihan DATE dari FA itu cuma satu so far. Mereka ...

Tomorrow will have a time of brain-storming with bro. Gotta get the design done by this weekend, hope it'll meet the expectation of AXA-Mandiri ya? Bingung sebenernya, gw sama sekali belon nguasain software-nya, tau2 udah kudu bikin n kudu kelar weekend ini. Im anxious, to be honest. Can't go FA tomorrow, agak disayangkan as I've so much things inside. ... think I'd share it, but even if I don't.... it doesn't matter. I just wanna be there with them. *but suddenly the project came in and no choice, I gotta do this tomorrow* Next Friday got dinner with Mami di Inter-continental Hotel. Dunno whether I'll have enough time to go FA nxt week. Somehow, I need my family-altar. I really do. ... especially lately. Dunno why I've been soo cynical about life. Something in me is about to explode, ... kenapa ya? There's something different between FA and DATE. DATE is more like a... community. but FA is like another family to me. Just like old times in FGT, I...

Egois. Aku bosan. Jenuh. Sepi. Ingin berlari. Ingin pulang. Ingin berangan. Asal bukan di sini. Jangan di sini.

Aku... yang gundah Diujung sepucuk hari, diakhir peluh.. Terobosi dingin malam menuju kamarku yg nyaman. Ah, selembar terbit dan terbenam usai sudah, Namun mimpi nan julang menggigil masih tetap gelisah. Terjagalah khayalku! Pahatlah lagi sepucuk cerita esok hari. Duuuhh!! Walau pena tak lagi bertinta, Tapi kenapa ya asa tetaplah kian beringas mengembara? Aku benci kamu!! Kapan akan tepati janjimu? Kenapa kamu suruh aku nunggu segini lama? Sampai kapan ku dapat bertahan? Apa bener seperti yang orang2 bilang? ... kalo kamu.... ga pernah bohong. Ingin rasanya kupergi, tinggalkanmu... selamanya. mungkin, hanya mungkin... .... aku bisa lebih baik tanpa kamu. Tapi... Tanpamu.. malam ini terasa sepi. Cuma sesekali suara AC memecah kebisuan. ... dan suara Piko yg batuk batuk, Kadang nyaring... menyentak lamunku. Kadang pilu... menggugah sudut hatiku. Mengusik segala diamku. Kembalikan kenangan waktu itu. Seuntai tali kenangan, Saat-saat kau ada bersamaku. Juk juk juk *suara AC gimana seh??* S...

OPRAH - The Wake Up Call. Watched Oprah twice yesterday. Pertama nonton yang di Metro TV, topiknya "Wildest dreams come true" Ada beberapa chosen people yg menurut gw, amat sangat diberkati by Oprah. Ada yang dapet trip pake kapal pesiar yang mewaah banget, ada yg college fee-nya paid in full... Second show I watched was in Starworld. Bon Jovi donated US$ 1 million for Oprah Angel Networks. Intinya : It really touched me. Big time! How one person can make a difference in someone else's life. Literally turn life around. Giving hope to the hopeless. it's like... touching heaven, changing earth! Action speaks louder then words. Bon Jovi said something like: "When you see their expressions.... you know that you ain't give a thing to them. They're the one who give you. They give you some thing much more valuable to your soul. ... a joy that is no words can express." Jangankan die yg ngasih, gw aje yg ngeliat sampe merinding n deeply touched. Sampe ngemben...

Ciih! Gw sebeel. Gw bingung ama lalaki... Keeps breaking promises. Kalo mao maen golf ama temen2nya, mengatas namakan "janji". Bilang udah keburu janji... Yea rite! Practice what you've preached dong! Kalo ama orang laen aje... 'keburu JANJI' Kalo ama gua.... 'SORRY yaa..' Ga lucu tau ga, ... ga lucu! janji aje terus. janjiiii janji janjiiii!! Dari hal kecil, sampe hal gede... janji aje terus. Promises are made to be broken toh?!? Kadang gw pengeeeeen banget ngebales. Biar tau gimana rasanya, biar tau gimana ga enaknya. Berapa banyak kata, berapa banyak sms lu yang isinya : "sorry I've let u down again. Gw ga bakal janji lagi kalo gw ga bisa tepatin" 18:24:41 - 04.11.2005 or "I often let u down, and not keeping my promise. I can't change what I've done and the hurt I've caused. Buat I ask with all I am, 4 u to believe in me that i will NEVER made a promise can't keep. I love you, and I'm saying this with all I am....

Ladies and Gentlemen, Proudly, gladly and most of all... excitedly announcing thaaat.............. from today, 08-04-06 until 22-04-06... Freedom is ours! Right now, at this very moment, I can testify that these words below are true : "... bahwa kemerdekaan itu ialah hak segala bangsa, dan oleh sebab itu, maka penjajahan diatas dunia harus dihapuskan.. karena tidak sesuai denga pri-kemanusiaan dan pri-keadilan..." Mr. B. won't be coming to office due to some meeting in India. How cool is that haa? Yaay!! YYAAAYY!! YEEPPPEEE!!!!

SOO LAN's 42nd BIRTHDAY Forgot to post this before, Thursday, 06-04-06 Happy 42-nd birthday to my dear friend, Wong Soo Lan. She has made a difference in me... literally. She's not an angel, ... but she touched my heart. A true friend is hard to find, True friendship is built over time. Her patience has endeared her to me, Her concern has simply been flattering. She advised me in times of my despair, She lent me a hand when I was in need, She buzzed over me to ensure my comfort, .... even till she almost broke down herself. She laughed with me, She taught me what real hugs are. .... she cried with and for me. For these, no words are appropriate. No time spent together is unjustifiable. No effort is wasted. To you, my good great friend, my comrade... Have a happiest birthday. With all the love in the world, Candice.

NO ONE KNOWS IF SHOOTING STARS WILL LAND This is the one thing I know, You said you won't let me go You've done a good work in me and you won't quit till I'm free -Sara Grove- The part of me that's been wrapped in streaks of sunset, One with the special tag attached. A promise that paints me a perfect picture of what is real. I don't know how I got so blessed. Just blessed enough to keep the promise here, In the safest place of all........ : my heart.

PHOTOSHOP Started learning photoshop last night. Susa juga yeeee! I can cope with Corel, but kemaren agak2 keteteran gitu. Si noisy-college-guy malah for once!! lebih jago dari gua. Gileee.. die dah bisa pake efek2 yg aneh2 gitu.. Harga diriku tercorreeng! Need to use that software often from now on.

BUT STILL!! I don't wanna be separated. In a way, I hate changes. I know sometimes it is for the best interest of everyone, ... but still!! *haiizz* The kiddy side of me blamed the 'new-comers'. I know I ain't suppose to,... but then again, ... but still!!

About A Friend Thoughts went in and out my mind. Today I wander, wander about a friend. A friend, whom I used to communicate often. .... but not anymore. I wander, how can people be so.... *looking for the right word* umm.. dishearten? Ya, sometimes I pitty her for being negative in almost every thoughts. Feel like telling her to cheer up a bit. Hey girl, life can not possibly be that bad. You've got so much to be grateful about. ..... so much. Stop torturing your mind and lighten up a bit. Start enjoying life. I know life sucks sometimes. I know. ...... but c'mon, you've got so much potentials in you. You've got the capacity to be that someone who'd change the world for the better. I used to like you a lot, I used to love you as a lovely little sister. .... but I can't keep up with you. Im sorry, I feel bad for abandoning you. ... but really, I find it so darn hard to keep up with you. So, please...... lighten up a bit, k.

ABO BLO'ON! Iye, temen gw yang atu itu emang blo'on. Gw mikir... kalo gw temenan mulu ama dia, kapan gw nambah pinternyeee??!? Huehugheuag...... Anyway, sekarang anybody can leave a comment on my blog. Thanks to Ariel- don't -wanna be, I've changed my blog settings. Lucu ya, sekarang malah jadi punya online journal gini. I've done some head-counts on who knows my blog address... there are 6 people all together now. My ogep fren, Abo was the first to know. (Lha wong create-nye bareng2 die... tadinye cuman iseng2 doang, kaga ada kerjaan.. eeh! Jadi keterusaan) The second one was my super-duper-very-teramat-sangat kepo bro, Rainer Arya Sutikno Halim. (jijay yeee namanye... bedahal di passport cuman Rainer Arya doang, ga jelas kenapa di KTP bisa ada Sutikno Halim-nye. Thank God nama gw bae2 aja.. coba kalo jadi Candice Eva Piauw Lan Sutikno Halim.. Euuh!! Najooong syalalaaa!) Anyway, moi mood is a bit jumpy now. Too much sugar kali ya.. Ga ada kerjaan n tar malem kudu ...

ANGEL.. And then when things get too harsh on me, God sends me a friend.