The Me Inside....

Hey myself, feeling a bit mellow tonight eh? Today I had quite a "talkative" day with Shelley and abis ketemu Shelley pulangnya gw cerita2 sama Andi juga. So I let the extrovert of me came out a bit today.   Had late breakfast with Shelley at Simmer. Yes we talked a lot. Like, a lot! Hadn't seen her for a little over a month since a week before my surgery.  She wanted to come see me at the hospital, but ofcourse I said no.  Im not the type yg suka ditengokin at my most vulnerable moment, apparently. Me being an introvert.  She sent me a bouquet of flowers instead. I love fresh flowers. Since we bought this house, rasanya we almost always have fresh flowers on the table.  Anyway, we talked a lot. Then Nicole and Daniel came and join us for a bit. This is the first time I met Daniel, he and Nicole really have a good chemistry. Can almost literally feel that they're meant to be for each other. Then when they left, Shelley and I had another cup of coffee and continu...

Yes yes!! I finally told my parents about the surgery.  Ya karena all good news now.  The surgical sites are healing well. Liver test back to normal.  All good.  Skyped tadi n lagi pada ok banget mood nya.  And mami beberapa kali bilang gw tambah cakep (jieeeehh!) n seger.  Jadi ya sekalian deh, jadi mereka juga kan liat kalo gw dah beneran gapapa.  Rasanya? LEGA BANGET!!!!!!

Discharged with a round of antibiotics. The fever subsided as soon as they injected the antibiotics to the IV line.  Pheeww...... udah deh, abis ini beres. Ga ada macem2 lagi dah yaaaa. Cape ah bulak balik hospital.  So yes. Im home (again) now.  Kemaren sempet bingung, ko di hospital gw seger buger banget. Ke tempat xray sama usg jalan sendiri (i refused buat didorong pake wheelchair!) badan juga literally ga berasa apa2. Saban ditanya pain level gw selalu bilang ZERO. Tapi begitu sampe rumah, ga lama kok badan kayak ga enak gitu. Kaya abis digebukin. Sakitnya buset2... Terus mikir... di hospital painkillers itu rutin. Lagi healing abis invasive surgery gini for the first week or so itu yg namanya pain killers itu terus rutin.  Lah dirumah gw ga kepikiran, yg di otak gw cuma antibiotik ga boleh lupa.  Ternyata ga boleh tunggu berasa sakit dulu baru makan pain killers krn bodi healing nya jadi lebih lama.  Pain killers nya bukan addictive substance ko. Mere...

Back in the hospital for the 4th time since 26 August!!!! Im sooo pissed. This time because of suspected infection.   Had a mild fever in the morning, so I went to see Shona.  Panik lah dia, 3 days post op and I developed a fever with a leeking wound. She sent me off to ED.  I begged her not to. But did she listen? No.  off I go to ED. Drove myself here.  Good thing ED wasn't too full. The last time I was there I had to wait nearly 5 hours. Im in Public hospital now (where I work) - coz private hospital ga punya ED.  Gitu deh. Im pissed. Im gutted.  I dont wanna be here.  They give me a strong antibiotic through my IV line. Hurt!!  Ahhh... pdhal im feeling so ok, another hole poked into my veins...  Keesseeellll. I wasnt expecting this at all! Tau gitu tadi ga usa ke Shona. Malesin bangeet kudu nginep sini lagi. Aaaahhh!

My eyes! Aarrgg so bluurrry. Mungkin begini rasanya jadi kakek nenek kl ga pake kacamata ya. Supeerr blurr. Double vision pulaaa.  Haisshh..... when will my vision back to normaall?? 

Had my gallbladder removed on Monday. It went really well.  I really was in good hands.  The doc, anaesthesist, nurses were so helpful.  Discharged was A LOT faster than public hospital.  Private is soooo much better :) So I had the surgery at about 9:30 am. Was in an observation room for 2 hours. My o2 level was pretty low so they hooked me up with an O2 mask for almost 24 hours.  Post surgery was fine. Until about 6 pm, the pain kicked in. I was a cry baby. I was sobbing and now I feel really embarrased!  At about 3 am, they had to put a catheter :( because Mu bladder was full, but I couldn't get it out. They told me it was probably because of the anaesthesia.  Now the other annoying side effect  for me: i have a super blur vision. As I typed this blog, I can barely see the letters.  I remember having problem when I first had my endoscopy couple of months ago. This is very unpleasant. I kept blinking and trying to adjust my focus but it's s...

This is something worth blogging for. People say there is a strong connection between mom and kid.  It's true. I wouldn't be too surprise if it came from my dad. But this came from mom, she doesn't really text. Her text came at the most needed time, at one of the longest nights..... then she realized it was 2:34 am and started yapping about why I was still awake. 😄 Geez mom, Im not 6 anymore LoL! :)  Ade juga kangen mammiii.  I wish you were here mom. I need you! 😭 Can't wait to see you this December!

Most of the time, I dont need "advice".  Just shut up and listen.  Just be on my side.  Funny how people you know for decades still dont get it. Yet there are people who u met just a couple of years ago, get it.  Dont push me to tell you what's going on.  I will tell you. In my own terms.  And if I suddenly became reserved, it means I want you to back off. Ask a genuine "are you okay?" And just be there and support me.  Sometimes, you dont even have to understand.  Just be there and bear with me.  A simple text like this will do. That suffices.  She knows I'll tell her when Im ready.  Heck sometimes it wasn't even about readiness. Sometimes I just dont wanna talk about it because it gets too stressful.  I have my own way of managing my internal war.  Things are happening at the same time and they're overwhelmingly pressuring.  Stop saying things like "oh you'l...

So the health journey isn't over yet, but I think we're getting closer to find the answer. I had another endoscopy just a few days ago to check the ulcers. Good thing is all ulcers healed up well. I have no more ulcers in my tummy. Yay! But the pain still there, and the liver test is still elevated. This just doesn't add up to the equation. Another good thing is, they may have found the 'real' culprit this time. After numerous ultrasounds, scans, bloodtests, they finally found something definitive. The HIDA scan showed no gallstones. It filled up really well. BUT! It is not emptying properly. My gallbladder was only functioning at 32%. So my poorly functioning gallbladder needs to go. Bye bye gallie! Gonna have surgery this coming Monday, 7 November 2016. Simon Bann is my Laparascopic Surgeon, and he will try to perform keyhole (laparoscopic cholecystectomy) surgery to remove my gallie. Recovery for this is 1-2 weeks. Should there be any complicatio...