The Me Inside....

Bloated. Buncit. Begah. Too full. Ngantuk. tepat 30 menit lagi pulang.

Aspirations are fine things. In fact, I think they are necessary to keep you on your toes, ... allowing you to hit goals and get better as time passes. However, it's one thing to have aspirations and go for them, and totally something else altogether to have aspirations but insist to achieve these goals by doing things in the old way. I mean, if you were right all a long, then you would've achieved your goals a long time ago, you would've been so content with your life. So why even bother declaring goals when you have no intentions whatsoever to shed your old skins? A snake who intends to grow bigger would shed his old skin in order to get bigger. You can't always think that you're always right. Coz the fact is... you're not. You can't cling on to your pasts and your methodology and 'get there'. You can't just want thing, but do nothing about it. You can't continue wishing that things will get better. You need to put an action to it. You need...

Things on my 2009 list that has been accomplished: Baby S. Negia Satay was launched on October 13, 2009 Meng-umroh-kan mami ke Hongkong Several holiday trips abroad and Bali Target amount of savings met the target. Drawings of the new house for enlargement and renovation Things that hasn't been accomplished: Bangkok trip PR 2010 Wishlist: Baby S comes out safe, physically, mentally, spiritually perfect... ga kurang apa2, sehat, cakep, pinter, semua organ befungsi sempurna, all 5 senses function perfectly. Breastfeed for at least 6 months Enjoy baby and the new family life thoroughly Get our Australian PR and/or apply for Canada's - Tetep berjuang! New big car - SUV / MPV or any 7 seater. House renovation will be done before baby S. arrival Throw a big makan2 for parents 34th anniversary 'party' Of course, target savings juga kudu increase dong. Negia Sate Nusantara tambah sukses - kali bisa buka cabang. Now, that leads me into another thought. Kerjaan gimana ya? berenti...

With new year approaching and several weeks of missing my occasional blogging sessions, I've almost hit week 11 on the pregnancy schedule. I fell quite ill during the 9th week of my pregnancy. The flu bug hit me hard, and I got the cough and a runny nose attacking me all at the same time. Other than that, thank God I dont think I have any morning sickness so far. There were occasionals uncomfortable gassy feeling on the tummy, I get cranky and bitch a lot, I had trouble sleeping at night, I get worried over little stuff, I get tired very easy, I completely lost my appetite, I get excited as fast as I lost the excitement. Physically, I dont think I've changed much. Haven't gain any weight so far. Mentally, I think the stretch-mark syndrome has been haunting me. Stretch marks, kulit jeruk, glember2 belly, giant legs and a super significant weight gain scare me. A lot! Some people told me not to worry about that, and that it's not time to think about myself anymore. I disa...

Wanita penyumbat lobang aer itu beraksi kembali!! What's her problem si sebenernya??? First of, she called Andi and instead of bilang 'congrats' dia bilang "eh, kendi hamil ya? Jangan berenti kerja, sayang kan... Lagian dia pulang tenggo mulu" Then a couple of days ago she texted me, bilang "tekdung tekdung tralala... Jadi resign?" i mean, WTF??!? And go on "jgn berenti, ngapain bengong2 dirumah" Eh! Sapa bilang gw mo bengong2? And mind you, I dont mind advices.... But coming from you, I know it's not advice. Itu cuma ungkapan kesirikan aje. And woman... Honestly, you have NOT earn your place to give me any 'advice'. When was the last time we spoke to each other? When was the last time we met? when was the last time we even texted each other ha??.... It's been too long I cant even (bother) to remember!! A year ago, maybe more? Truth is, if u cant say anything nice(r), might as well dont say anything. Geez, it HAS to be a reaso...

Guess what? Last Friday found out that I have a little "us" growing inside me. Found it out through a test pack. Wasn't really sure about it. In fact, for the last 2 weeks, I was soooo sure that my period was coming. My body tells me so precisely when my period is coming. ... but not this time. I kept getting the feeling that it was about to come anytime. ... but I waited, and waited, and waited... nothing came out. So out of curiousity, I took the test. and almost fainted in joy, excitement, confussion when I saw two stripes on it. Didn't tell Andi til evening. He was so excited. He jumped around, and ran around the entire room with a loud noise. Then went to see my Obgyn the next day. He confirmed that our little one is inside. Saw the heartbeats. :) I am breaking taboo by breaching 'the vow of silence before you hit four months'. Currently 5 weeks old. I can officially lay claim to the greatest joy of being a pregnant woman: 'I AM QUEEN and THOU SHALL A...

Been on Hiatus mode for so long. Not having a vast vocabulary resources, I mostly fumble with the right words to describe my personal opinion of a happening situation. You know how it is. Sometimes, a situation occurs that leaves you speechless, ... but that human instinct within you nerve wreckingly shifts around inside you, … trying feebly to find the right words to explain to yourself how exactly you are experiencing your emotions. The truth is, we are all limited by the boundaries of our personal dictionaries, and especially in face of humanity and her actions (or rather, misactions). Democracy, communism, dictatorship, socialism…. strip away all these labels and what do you have left? A series of meaningless titles given by their idea-generators, lived on by the supporters who defended all of these strange concepts. And sometimes I wonder, why do we keep making up ideas of what will make a perfect world? Each idea gives birth to a legion of ideology-embracers who take things too s...

Hati, hati... apa kabarmu? :) Aku ingin pelangiku. dimana dia? hmm..... tepuk bahuku, beri senyummu, buka pintuku, curahkan berkatmu. Aku menunggumu. Sekarang. Selalu.

Yeaap! it's me, checking into this abandoned blog. Been ages since I last post anything here. Much been going on. Still at the embassy with all the craps and flowers. Was looking at my niece's pictures on my phone.. got me thinking. Life is a series of baby steps, taken in tiny stumbling movements. I just hope that by the time we finally learn to 'get it right', our backs aren't bent, hair hasn't greyed and eyesights haven't worn off. Tragedy, or comedy, depending how you see it. So I try hard to remember, remember why Im here on earth, why I do the things I do, say the things I say. Some seek religious escapism, trusting in a Godly figure of some kind. Many cannot decide, refuse to decide, calling themselves 'agnostics', or 'discoverers'.... others choose science, skeptical to the very end, .... and yet working so hard to 'get the facts' sorted out - except, alas, the facts are never facts, the truth is never truth - each time, somet...

Dag dig dug dag dig dug dag dig dug hatiku berdegup... gup gup... Masa iya si? I mean, seriously? dug dug dug dug..... haruskah diambil? haruskah dilepas? kalo bulanannya segitu si bisa... Aaah, haruskaah?

I browsed through my FB list to delete people I don't know. ... and came across some of the kids from FGT. They're all grown ups now!! Time does fly! They're all in their twenties now, or teens. The Ng brothers - Garrett, Nick, Vic... The Lees - Sean, Dom, and Ben... they were practically toddlers when I was there! The Yims - Joel, Josh (I dont know the little one though), Jared (i think) The Yongs - Jessica and Jaq.. Laura, Terrence, oh, and Pearly!! Gosh that girl is 20 years old now!! Never really know her, she was a bit quiet back then. .. but I always felt that she has a good heart. Somehow. It's amazing to see how they grew. It seems like yesterday I helped them in nursery. It's just amazing. Truly. Looking at them, I appreciate life more. So much to see, so much to hear, so much to do, so much to feel. gimana kalo nanti ngeliat anak sendiri tumbuh ya? They're making their own histories. So ready for the world. Great to see them.

"Never give up on what u really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts." (Unknown - taken from Sidney Mohede's twitter). That's exactly what we're doing now. Starting the sate business soon. Im so thankful for the wonderful support from Andi, he's been my rock and the reason of every smile at the end of the day. My heart beats faster everytime I see the twinkle in his eyes. On the other note.... Yearning for something big. It. Has. Got. To. Be MOOORREE to life than this! Seriously! Im super bored. Each and every week is malls after malls, after malls... and malls! Oh wait! And more malls!!! Seessshh!!! Im blessed with a great bonding within each member of the family. We got together almost every weekend. Tapi ya itu... Ke mall lagiii, ke mall lagi... My dad spends million(s) each week at the malls. He's the one paying for all the meals, groceries, coffees, petrols, etc. Not that we're asking for it. That...

Been waiting for almost 2 hours. Andi lagi presentasi di kampus. Bosen sih, and pantat mulai keram. Tak apa, tar malem dia janji mo bikinin sushi. Pengeeeenn banget punya rumah. We have a house, but we dont have a home yet. Kenapa ya it took so long buat PR-nya? Kadang keki juga, terima terima, enggak enggak. Jadi kan ga ngegantung... Tapi gimana dooong? It's in the hand of the Australian government. Yohan beli yaris, he spend like 90% of his income buat bayat cicilan tiap bulannya. The joy of being single ya. Enak juga kali ya sekali2 bisa break-free gitu? But then again, si Jenn juga masi kecil. Jadi belon perlu nabung buat merit. Baguslah. Happy for him. Ada apa lagi lately? Ooh, ada si Jawa. Caught up with him last week. Masiii aja pecicilan. Kalo PR diapprove, gw bakal nappppaaaaasssss. Kalo ga diapprove (tok tok tok), atau paling ngga kl ampe ahir taun belon ada kabar, mo coba apply PR NZ aaah, atau kanada, atau sekalian gelap aja hihihi. Kenapa ya gw ga betah banget disi...

WARNING! JANGAN ADA YG BACA BLOG GW, TRUS IKUT2AN TERSINGGUNG OR MARAH2! This is my space. For 2 weeks, starting Monday, office life will be heaven without TP. Hore! ------------------- My elbow hurts for no reason ------------------- Some ppl believe in God, some ppl dont. I dont care. Ngapain berdebat? Toh gw uda pasti kalah debat intelektual . So what? I believe what I believe, and so do they. Mo percaya patung kek, mo percaya uler kek, mo percaya tikus kek, mo percaya monyet kek, mo percaya dewa kek, mo percaya angin kek, Biarin aja lah.... toh semua orang mati at the end. Bagi yg percaya life after death, then there is a life after death. Bagi yg ga percaya, ya udah.. once mati ya mati. Gampang kan? Liat aja nanti gimana tooh? Kali aja orang mati semua berubah jadi kodok! Percaya apa kata ati aja deh... (bagi yg masi punya hati ya) gitu aja ko repoot. Kalo ati gw sih percaya Tuhan itu ada. Gw masih percaya Yesus, and akan terus percaya. Regardless all the questions and doubts. Itu...

kapan ya sukses? kapan ya kaya banget? kapan ya itu teh poci jalan? kapan ya kapan yaaaa...   lalala, lilili..... mau ini mau itu, banyak sekali....   at least rencana meng-"umroh"-kan nyokap ke cina udah sukses. ... walo baru HK doang, walo belon cina beneran... at least gua ga ngomong doang....   tinggal 4 jekpot gede yg belon kesampean. jekpot kecilnya si banyak banget, tapi kalo uda bisa dapet yg 4 itu rasanya baru bisa liat life smile back at me :)   KAPAN YAAA????  hihihi

Still at the house. (refuse to call it 'home') waiting for my dinner.. and barusan mbak-nya telpon. "non, ayam sayurnya ga ada... " jah! orang lagi kepengeeen... Mudah2an besok ga ada typhoon. And moga2 bisa titip koper di shuttle bus hotel-nya. Biar semua makhluk berbahagia. ... quoting Marcell.... ga jelas!

Iya... lelah, lelah, cape, cape, cape, sebel, sebel, sebeeel sama sikap tengil bule2 disini. Arogan banget. Drop the attitude! Norak tau ga siii

The feeling is fading away and emerging at the same time. How can this be? Diving and free falling to the ocean of thoughts and mix feelings... Quiet. Silent. ... but the thunder roars inside Not at the intersection. But Im definitely on a busy road. Struggling to keep going, Yet not wanting to stop either. The sun is asleep. The moon is dozing off. And where are all the stars? They're there. But they're not there. Sent from my iPhone

Berhasil sukses makan gurame goreng yg ngejigrak! Makan pake nasi 3 piring. buncit deh sekarang... nongol gitu, literally kayak hamil 3 bulan. Tapi saya senaang... makannya enaaak, company-nya asiiiik, suasanyanya mantaaaapp! Keluarga itu elemen yg penting banget yah. Weekend ini rata. Sabtu with my family, Minggu with his family. sayang besok kudu kerja lagi..

Udah seminggu kepengen bgt makan gurame goreng yg ngejigrak. Hadoooh... Lapeer. Mother didn't feed me well today. Cuma makan Babatong doang td jam 5. Sekarang krucuk-krucuk... Mo mibta gorengin telor, tp dah pada bobo semua.. Laper gile... Akh! Sent from my iPhone

My new fond TV series... Eli Stone. Seddiiih! Another series yg bikin si cengeng mewek mulu. hihihi Besok ga kerja. Hoorrreehh!! Bandung? Puncak? Bandung? Puncak? Anywhere.. yang penting gua mau makan kuring! Auughh!

She told me, "Waktu itu gw ngerasa, you were the miracle that God promised :) " waktu dia bilang gitu, gue kaget. Im flattered, Im humbled. Dooh, kita tuh dulu bandeeel banget. Bandel as in BANDEL! Bandel yg bisa sampe ditangkep polisi kalo sampe ketauaaan. Serious felony yg bukan cuma sekedar "ngutil di toko buku" (which, I did juga dulu... but then again, siapa sih yg ga pernah ngutil?? ehuahuhuhahah) Gila ih, kalo diinget2 lagi.... gue tuh dulu sintiing!! What was I thinking back then? ... I guess I wasn't thinking kali yee... I risked my future tanpa mikir sama sekali. Weeddeeww. Tapi I guess now we can laugh about it. We grew up. ... and to hear that word from her, duuh... rasanya ga pantes. She taught me more. She opened my eyes more. Yes, kadang she can be annoying with her mood swings, kadang nyebeliiiiin banget. tapi that merely shows that she's human. Justru dia yg ga sempurna yg nyentuh hati gw. Terimakasih sahabat. .. for showing me that it's...

Maaf ya, aku lupa akan perihmu. Aku lupa kalo kamu punya segudang hal yg ngga tuntas. Aku ngerti kok. ... karena aku juga begitu. Hanya saja, aku sedikit lebih beruntung karena aku perempuan. Orang bilang tanggung jawab laki2 lebih besar. Iya. Aku mengerti. Dan aku setuju. Maaf ya, Kamu harus ngerasa seperti yg kamu rasa. Sabar ya. Aku sayang kamu. Sent from my iPhone

Suara air mengalir, Desiran angin membelai lembut, Rasa yg datang mendekat. Ini hidup. Hidupku. Segelas es teh, Sepiring nasi goreng, Sebuah buku, .... dan kesendirian. Kesendirian yang indah, Yang membuatku bersyukur akan hidup. Senja ini aku sendiri. Tak apa. Aku tau dia belajar untukku. Aku tau dia lakukan semua untuk masa depan kami. ... dan aku sangat berterimakasih atas kerja kerasnya. Toh kesendirian ini yang kubutuhkan. Yang membuatku melangkah mundur dari kebisingan hati. Menjauh dari semua hiruk pikuk kekhawatiran akan sebuah harapan. Senja ini, aku sendiri. Mengatur ulang setiap sudut hati. Melihat lebih dekat untuk bersyukur. ... dan melihat lebih jauh untuk pengharapan. Terimakasih cinta. Senja ini, ... senja yang indah. :) Sent from my iPhone

Di mobil lagi. Nunggu sang pangeran kuliah.... Untung lagi adem bgt anginnya, Less nyamuk juga :) Nonton Ghost Whisperer. Kenapa ya tiap nonton itu PASTIII deh mewek. Paling ngga berkaca2, ngegeneng2. Aaah, saya emang cengeng. Andai semua orang punya kesempetan buat say their good byes. Andai semua yg ditinggal can have a beautiful closures. Feel like green tea ice cream... Been so long since I had that. Sent from my iPhone

Rektum itu ada hubungan sama pantat kan? Or not... Anyhooo! Sent from my iPhone

The husband still belonan. Gw udah lepeek keringetan and masih kebelet e-e. Haiyaah... Setianya diriku.... Sabar yaaa, in two weeks babak ini akan berahir dengan indah. Doooh... Pantatku, rektumku, Otot-otot lurik-kuu.... Bertahanlaaah. Jamban yg tidak indah itu menanti di Flamboyan. Sent from my iPhone

Im in the car, alone. As always, this is the best time to have a 'me' time. I said in my earlier post that I didn't wanna think tonight. Well guess what? Here I am, thinking hard. Analysing every single corner of my heart. Mendadak I miss SL. I miss Jo too. Why? What made them stands out in my life. Something suddenly struck me. Among many good qualities in them, it was their "how are you" that made a huge different. How many times do we say "how are you?" and actually meant it? In many cases, we come together and say to each other "How are you today?" And the answers are most likely to be "Good, thank you" or "Fine" No matter how terrible we may feel, that's just seems to be the right and polite answer. The 'how are yous' are often only perfunctory and we seldom listen for a response. Not many people, including myself, say that simple line with a heart. SL and Jo did. They look through the "Im fine" an...

Haven't been touching this blog for so long.. I must blame Facebook. Too busy with the status and all :) What's been happening lately? Nothing much sih... Expecting great things to happen this year onwards. Sitting here at Starbucks, waiting for Andi as usual.... too bad the person next to me talk too loud, it's disturbing! Anyway, seharian ngeliatin Andi menganalisa saham. Seru juga ngeliatin pergerakan naek turunnya. I can see myself sitting 6 hours a day doing that. Hari ini untung 85,000. Walo masih kecil, tapi saya senang! :) Anyway.. playing stocks seem to be the easy way out. It's just my way of justifying myself. Life is rather dead or unproductive lately. Oh it was so hard to wait and sit still. I feel as though God moved and lost my address. Im struggling with this feeling of abandonment. On the other side, i feel as though Im about to burst inside. I get this sense that something wonderful is about to happen, but i dont quite know what it is. I can feel it mo...

It is perhaps a monumental probability that I've simply forgotten what has kept me here. Or evidently, what I have fought so hard for. What wind could be so strong, it banishes hundreds of acres of oaks, yet still ever so gentle enough to persuade even the most delicate of buds to move with, barely, an inch-long effort. My God, seeing kunyuk with that robe triggered something inside. I miss her. I know she'd worked soooo hard to be where she is now. I miss those moments. Though I must admit, maybe, just maybe... Im not running for the same dream anymore. The passion still there, ... it's just become a smaller part of me. Could I have waited this long, and demolished five full years of emotional barricade? Nah. I've walked too far to even think of steeping back. What faith could have, so morbidly, left my judgement impaired? The first scar may be the deepest, but a scar is a scar. ... and one left to bleed without stitches is bound to come undone. Tapi guess what? Im hea...

Lagi demen (lagi) lagunya.. "A brand new daaaay, ... Jeremy and feliciaaaaa we'll have a beautiful house ... With .....Apple trees... I know it sounds too much, but this is a brand neeeeeewww daaaayyy" Hihihi... Gara2 abis dengerin iPod di mobil ucok. lagunya di-shuffle.. dulu sempet sering bgt denger lagu itu. ... Been a while.... Nyetir super ati2 tadi. belon biasa bawa city, meni itu jalanan padet bener. Sukseslah jalan pake gigi 2 doang. uda kaya kuya... Selasa... datanglah cepat. tak sabar rasanya.. Oalaaah, td di kantor dikerubutin orang. lantaran tamu2 gw hari ini the so-called selebriti semua. Wong orang HRD sempet2-nya nungguin sampe 2 jem! sinting. Gw mah bodo amat.. Ga peduli mereka pesohor.. Artis2 panasonic award pada pre-departure briefing tadi. jd meeting deh ama mereka. sekalian jumpa pers.... Td sempet ngobrol lama ama Tantowi Yahya. down to earth juga. Ama sapa lg ya tadi? Anjasmara, Olga, Indra Bekti, Eko Patrio, Feni ros, hmm.. Saha deui ya...

Ugghh! Liat dunia disekeliling orang2 pada rese. Take everything for granted. Ga diurusin? jidat lu ga diurusin!!!!! Gowt! kalo ngomong udah kaya ngomong ama apa tau. bentak2, marah2. Duileeee! Orang2 pada gila emang. Pada ga punya hati nurani apa?

One day, I will sing this song, ... and cry with a grateful tears. There was a time I packed my dreams away Living in a shell, hiding from myself There was a time when I was so afraid I thought I'd reached the end Baby that was then But I am made of more than my yesterdays [Chorus] This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment Cuz I look aroundI can't believe the love I see My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts That was then, this is my now. Had to decide was I gonna play it safe Or look somewhere deep inside and try to turn the tide Find the strength to take that step of faith. [Bridge] And I have the courage like never before, yeah I've settled for less but ready for more Ready for more This is my now

I find myself growing more and more contemplative as the years pass. I think its generally a good thing, because being in contemplation forces you to look deep within. And somehow, rattle up all those old skeletons in hidden closets (God knows, I have many, many of those). Outward, I guess, I am a picture of joy, bliss, perfect contentment, but like many... I am broken, imperfect. I used to think it was difficult to be broken. In the whispers of the late night, I would silently question the Universe, 'Why, why is it like this?' ... even while knowing very well that everybody has their own struggle, own yellow brick road journey to take. And then I would drift off to sleep, in the land where I would meet the maker in pockets of subconsciousness, usually awakening in the mornings with a sense of rejuvenation (sleep does wonders like that), ... feeling ready to overcome the day. Except the day isn't always overcome, rather... it overcomes me, with all the elements of life. We...

Bosen. ga jelas. rese. Kapaaann? oh kapaaaaannn... *menggila* Kunyuk! blebbbbb

Ain't fun!!! I dont like being assigned to a "no-brainer" task. like jaga tamu di lobby ... while everybody else gets to meet important peeps. Gw ngejogrok barang satpam di bawah! Uuuhh!!! Gua sebbeell.. sebbeeell!! SEBBEEELLLL!! I want my "Clinton" moments back! I knooow, I knoooww everybody else is much older then me. Tapi kan tapiii!! Keseeel.. keseeelll.... Ironis. Friday - Sunday I stayed in a 5* hotel, I experienced great service and meals. ..... but on Monday, I was the door girl!! Literally! Bersanding manis disamping satpam. Terpaksa senyum nyambut tamu walo ati perih tersayat2. Tadinya berdua ama yg namanya Henny. Ehh.. ditengah2 dia dipanggil bos. Katanya "henny, come.. I want you to meet people" Iiiih! Emang sih, si Henny itu 3 level diatas gua. Jauh emang levelnya. Tapi kan tapiiiii! UUUGGHHGG!!

... abis mandi, wangi pake sabun lavender baru. sakit perut, kentut2, lagi ga tau mo nulis apa. makan mi abang2 mangkal di benhil, gila... ENAK BANGEETT!!!!!! Besok lagi ya bang yaaa hihihi Dari PP ngangon si ubi bentaran, gempooorrr!!! need more exercise.. pengen punya kuda. Itu PTB yg P3 ok juga rasanya, tapi deket banget. mikirin soal itu jadi ngerambat de.. hihihi rada gila dikit hari ini. lalalaaaa

Dont like this feeling. I wish I can just quit and have fun. If only I can do watever I want. Bukannya ga besukur... cuma lagi jenuh aja. And Im thinking abt someone.pengen dia bisa berdamai. damai with watever yg perlu didamai-in. damai ama dirinya, damai ama masa lalunya, damai ama pikiran n hatinya, damai ama hidup. Sayang n care bgt sama orang itu. pengen nangis saking sayangnya. Gw emang cengeng, emang suka kelewat alus ga puguh perasaannya. Tapi gw beneran sayang. Pengen bisa bikin dia lega, tapi ga tau gimana. Ga bisa ngomong jg karena ga tau jg mo ngomong apa. kalopun tau, pasti keburu mewek duluan. or keburu diem karena kalah sama perdebatan logika. Pengen dia baik2 aja. Pengen dia jadi manusia utuh luar dalem. pengen dia be happy n enjoy life. pengen dia tau kalo gw butuh dia. Damn! Gua cengeng!!!!!

Kenapa si orang2 pada marah2 mulu? Membingungkan... ga bole sala ngomong, ga bole becanda, pokonya semua musti super duper amat sangat ati2... It's not fun anymore. Si mami juga, pulang2 langsung ngamuk2.. "kendis! Itu pintu tutup dong!!!" Duileee... Segitunye si enyak.. Ya tutup aje, susa amat si Pdhal tadinya took day off pengen spend time ngobrol2. Rencana n niatnya si pengen bareng2 aja, nyantai2 together with my family. Tapi ternyata... Huhuhuuu.. Untungnya gw lg nyantai dlm ati, Mencoba memahami kehidupan.. bawa santai aja lah, toh bsk long weekend. ... Bisa spend whooollee day sama Andi, Andi, sosok bulet nan damai. Eh, nyokap nongol barusan. moodnya udah lumayan ok tuh. ya baguslah. Besok k JavaJazz aaah, mumpung ada tiket gratisan. Walo ga tau wat to expect disana, I dont even like jazz... tp penasaran aja ama event yg diheboh2in orang2 Terus bsk pg dapet tugas nganterin papi ke... hmm.. Ga tau kmana si, dia mau reuni. Barusan liat iklan tv, suruh duk...

Dear God, How could it have taken me almost twenty eight years to fully comprehend that no matter how far I go, no matter how long for... .... this heart still has a home. It may not always be in the greatest comfort, or in sheer convenience. It's the faith of knowing that whatever I do, or however deep I've fallen... I trust that Im gonna be alright.. The human side of me ache a lot. I see people so easily come and go, in and out Australia and NZ. When is my turn God? Dont You think I've waited long enough? Dont You think I've done all I could? Dont You know the pains of waiting in the dark? ... but I guess the capacity has been enlarged. I believe my time will come. some day... somehow.... This isn't home. But I'll be fine for a while.

Terimakasih Tuhan, ... untuk kesempatan itu. Walo kudu lembur2 ga puguh, walo kudu masuk di tanggal merah, walo sampe kekonci ga bisa kuar di dalem kedutaan saking malemnya, walo ga berani pipis pas lembur gara2 ditakut2in ada setan di wc, walo waktu tidur jadi dikit, walo kaki jadi pegel menjurus ke lemes, walo kaki rada lecet gara2 pake heels n lari2 whole day, walo keringetan ampe lepek di bawah matahari, walo kelaperan tiada tara dan tiada ada makanan, walo si item kayak jamban (tetep yg ini mah!), walo sempet dimaki2 pdhal yg salah bukan saya, walo badan pada lemes, walo mood jadi jelek gara2 cape n kurang bobo.. walo jadi sering kebelet pipis tapi ga bisa ke WC .... tapi semua itu worth banget! Makasih banget ya Tuhanku... super!! Terimakasih! karena aku dipilih buat ikut iring2an Motorcades. karena bisa ngerasain gimana rasanya di escort dengan full-squad polisi Indonesia dan para secret service of the United States of America. karena bisa jadi salah satu biang kerok kemacetan ...

Another funny thing about friendship.... ----- Forwarded Message ---- From: Marini Hendarmin <marini.hendarmin@bo-le.com> To: Candice <sparky008@yahoo.com> Sent: Friday, February 13, 2009 5:39:49 PM Subject: Re: emi goreng gua baru liat blog lu... ternyata lu udah post yeee??? AHHAEHAEHUAEHUE... pikiran kita samaa... ya udah karena lu udah post, gua gak usah....ahaeuaheuhaeuhuae.... ----- Original Message ----- From: Candice To: Marini Hendarmin Sent: Friday, February 13, 2009 5:27 PM Subject: Re: emi goreng HA?? Ko gitu gimana? eeh.. lu baru baca blog gua yaaa? hihihi.. emang ga bole di post? lu lagi nyindir ya? hihihihi From: Marini Hendarmin < marini.hendarmin@bo-le.com > To: Candice < sparky008@yahoo.com > Sent: Friday, February 13, 2009 5:21:31 PM Subject: Re: emi goreng ih kok gitu sih? ah gua mo post ah di blogku...lalalalala....   ----- Original Message ----- From: Candice To: Marini Hendarmin Sent...

Beginilah isi imel dua sahabat yang sama2 menggunakan waktu kerja untuk berbalas-balas imel. ... walo sebagian udah diedit, tapi beginilah kegiatan kami sehari2 dari senen-jumat. Subjek-nya "emi goreng" karena salah satu dari mereka minta dibawain emi goreng. Kenapa Abo milih gua sebagai Maid of Honour? ---- From: Marini Hendarmin marini.hendarmin@bo-le.com To : Candice sparky008@yahoo.com Sent: Friday, February 13, 2009 4:48:32 PM Subject: Re: emi goreng 1. krn lu org yg plg deket ama gua 2. krn lu yg plg bisa jaga rahasia 3. krn lu yg tau jelek n bagusnya gua 4. krn lu orang yg gua percaya 5. krn lu orang whom i can count on 6. krn we've been through a lot (read: A LOT) ups n downs 7. krn it's time you payback my service!wahahahauhuae 8. krn i wanna share the most happiest and dreamiest day in my life 9. just becoz i love you.... ps. sukurin lu lembur! ----- Original Message ----- From: Candice To: Marini Hendarmin Sent: Friday, February 13, 2009 4:29 PM Subject: R...

A friend gave me this famed McDonald's postcards that forms the above slogan… Now that I'm looking at it, the catchy tune bumps around in my head ... and I can't seem to push it off my mind! Yes I am enjoying myself tremendously, at least Im trying my best to. The new year has been good despite the irrationality of occasional stumbles that render the ride rough and bumpy. In the hectic rush of the season, I've managed to find peace of mind, I guess.. and perhaps that has greatly influenced the way I start to view things. What did I say my resolution was? Embrace life. I've been trying my utmost best to look at things in the brightest light possible, trying to seek that silver lining in every gloomy cloud that blocks my sight. Yesterday I learned something from a very good friend of mine. I've come to sort of realise that while sometimes, just sometimes.. .... things can go soo sour that you can't find a single glimmer of hope, that process of attempt in its...

Walked into TP's office and heard some classical music from his iPod. I freezed for split seconds, felt a sudden rush of indescribable peace. It's been years since I last listened to any of those. somehow the melodies are fading away from my life. I forgot. I forgot how it made me feel. ... how it used to make me fly, ... how it took me to mountain top, overseeing an endless carpet of greens. I forgot how much I loved classical. .

INFJ - The "Confidant" INFJs, making up an estimated 1% of all people, are the most rare type (males even more so). They are introspective, caring, sensitive, gentle and complex people that strive for peace and derive satisfaction from helping others. INFJs are highly intuitive, empathetic and dedicated listeners. These traits tend to act as a "tell me what's wrong" sign on their forehead, hence the nicknames Confidant, Counselor or Empath. INFJs are intensely private and deeply committed to their beliefs. INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types. They tend to be devoted to what they believe in and seek work where their needs, values, and ideals can be deeply engaged. They move on the wave of their inspirations and are determined to see that their val...

Project gua kelaaarr!!! Horrreeee! Sudah selesaaaiii!! Bye bye PD Impact Survey!! May we never cross path again.. BYE! BYE! BYE! Leegggaaaaa

Ternyata. Bingung bingung numplek jadi satu. Sebel sebel numplek jadi satu. Takut takut numplek jadi satu. Sepi sepi numplek jadi satu. Bosen bosen numplek jadi satu. Ternyata.

Tuhan, I've been losing lots of battle lately. I lost sight of who You are. Im falling apart, ... torn between confusion, frustration, and vague hope in between.

First.. I am NOT against a demonstration of people's opinions through rallies. Some rallies are necessary, I believe some useful and have the right message.   But obviously the one that's been going on these few days aren't! I believe that there are more effective ways than calling for mob demonstrations.   The bike to work rally, the Walk for Justice, stuff like that, I can support.   But the call to gather 10,000 people is as equally WTF as the ruling coalition's decision to simply make everybody's life difficult.   It's not going to change anything, peopleeee! You are nothing. Left alone to other countries, you are nothing even TO ME. Honestly, if I have all the power and immunity.. you'll be long gone from the face of the earth. You guys are nothing but trouble. ... nothing but craps.   Instead of trying to give your so-called support to people on the other side of the world, why don't you just look around! Look fucking aro...

Finally... long overdue posting. 2008 has passed. Another year has passed.   It's always like this. In the early parts of the year, I wonder why time passes so slowly, .... especially when there are less holidays.   But when the year-end approaches, and I get my chance to clear my leave, and to sit out several holidays at one go, (at least once a week, plus a few more to look forward to next week), I start to wonder, 'Where did time go?'   When I look back on my life, and question where I've been, can I really say I've done my best?   Suddenly, Im over my mid-twenties, and the late twenties are quickly approaching.   It's tough being an adult.