With new year approaching and several weeks of missing my occasional blogging sessions,
I've almost hit week 11 on the pregnancy schedule.
I fell quite ill during the 9th week of my pregnancy.
The flu bug hit me hard, and I got the cough and a runny nose attacking me all at the same time.
Other than that, thank God I dont think I have any morning sickness so far.
There were occasionals uncomfortable gassy feeling on the tummy,
I get cranky and bitch a lot,
I had trouble sleeping at night,
I get worried over little stuff,
I get tired very easy,
I completely lost my appetite,
I get excited as fast as I lost the excitement.
Physically,
I dont think I've changed much.
Haven't gain any weight so far.
Mentally,
I think the stretch-mark syndrome has been haunting me.
Stretch marks, kulit jeruk, glember2 belly, giant legs and a super significant weight gain scare me.
A lot!
Some people told me not to worry about that,
and that it's not time to think about myself anymore.
I disagree.
For me, Im giving my best for my baby.
From the second I know that he's (yes, I think baby is a 'he') in my belly,
I've been trying really hard to give the best nutritious food.
I really go beyond myself.
I started eating fruits, juices and vegies.
I shove milk down my throat twice a day.
I have self-awareness to say "jangan pake micin sama sekali ya"
I stopped buying my favourite dirty-junkie-street food.
But having a baby doesn't make me a robot.
Having and loving baby so much doesn't make me less human.
Im a very normal woman,
... who have a body I love.
I love my body.
I wanna keep loving it.
... and I think it's perfectly normal to have anxieties about the physical changes.
That doesn't make me love baby less.
That doesn't make me a bad person.
And honestly, Im worried.
I think the visit to the gyn should be more than just once a month.
I wanna know what's going on with baby.
I wanna see the development.
I can't feel him moving around yet.
... and sometimes that worry me.
I've almost hit week 11 on the pregnancy schedule.
I fell quite ill during the 9th week of my pregnancy.
The flu bug hit me hard, and I got the cough and a runny nose attacking me all at the same time.
Other than that, thank God I dont think I have any morning sickness so far.
There were occasionals uncomfortable gassy feeling on the tummy,
I get cranky and bitch a lot,
I had trouble sleeping at night,
I get worried over little stuff,
I get tired very easy,
I completely lost my appetite,
I get excited as fast as I lost the excitement.
Physically,
I dont think I've changed much.
Haven't gain any weight so far.
Mentally,
I think the stretch-mark syndrome has been haunting me.
Stretch marks, kulit jeruk, glember2 belly, giant legs and a super significant weight gain scare me.
A lot!
Some people told me not to worry about that,
and that it's not time to think about myself anymore.
I disagree.
For me, Im giving my best for my baby.
From the second I know that he's (yes, I think baby is a 'he') in my belly,
I've been trying really hard to give the best nutritious food.
I really go beyond myself.
I started eating fruits, juices and vegies.
I shove milk down my throat twice a day.
I have self-awareness to say "jangan pake micin sama sekali ya"
I stopped buying my favourite dirty-junkie-street food.
But having a baby doesn't make me a robot.
Having and loving baby so much doesn't make me less human.
Im a very normal woman,
... who have a body I love.
I love my body.
I wanna keep loving it.
... and I think it's perfectly normal to have anxieties about the physical changes.
That doesn't make me love baby less.
That doesn't make me a bad person.
And honestly, Im worried.
I think the visit to the gyn should be more than just once a month.
I wanna know what's going on with baby.
I wanna see the development.
I can't feel him moving around yet.
... and sometimes that worry me.
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