The Me Inside....

So a couple of weeks ago, Shona referred me to a cardiologist. She picked up something during my ECG and thought it'd be better for a referral. So went to Wakefield Hospital coz I have insurance, so might as well go to a private hospital.  Did another ECG and Echocardiogram. Happy to say that the Echo was good. ECG not looking too good though. The cardiologist (yg tingggiiiii banget, kayanya the tallest person I've seen in my entire life! And yg miriiip banget sama Ros-nya Friends) sent me home with a Holter Monitor. Just to be sure and to see my heart rhythm for 24 hours.  So they fixed me with that device. Macam ecg, tp cuma ada 5 patches yg ditempel2 ke dada n bagian bawah ribs situ.  I had to wear that for 24 hours. Ga bole mandi huhuhuuuu.... This little device will record all heart rhythm. And kalo gw berasa ada symptom, gw kudu teken tombol kecil. Sama dikasi small diary, I need to write down what was I doing at the hour of the symptoms, and symptomnya apa aja... N...

I'm gonna get a tattoo!  Ha! ...... or not. Ha! ...... yep! Definitely getting it.  Ha! ...... or not! Ha! 

Lagi mellow, as mostly.  Here I am, sitting in a coffee shop all by myself.  Just dropped the kid and the husband to Ice Age Live. It's my treat to them.  Took the most expensive package for them to enjoy.  So this got me thinking, again.  I truly have a good life.  Im in love with this city, regardless of the weather. My journey to get here is nothing but based on one word. Believe.  I am where I am, because I never stop believing. Even when all seems impossible.  The one true God that I serve, kept His promise. My life is nothing but a series of glory after glory after glory. Not mine. His.  I may not be a zealous church goer (anymore). I may not be that girl yg aktif pelayanan di gereja, but I know that Im in a very good term with God. He is not a distant God. I can be myself comfortably with Him. I can "yell" at Him when Im mad, I can cry my heart out, I can laugh. I look around and I feel bad for people who are so caught up with church. ...

Yea, just feel like writing about him today.  We are two VERY different people.  Andi is more on the relax side.  Dia the last person yg bakal stress about ANYTHING. While me, on the other hand... Gampang banget kepikiran and stress.  Urusan packing aja gw bisa stress banget. Andi si santaaaii.  That's why he did aaalll the packing and unpacking tiap abis holiday. It works well for both of us.  Walo keliatannya mungkin a bit un orthodox ya. Biasanya cewe yg ngurus packing, but hey! That what works for us :) Ya daripada gw ngoceh saking stress, trus jadi gatel2, dan karena gatel2 gw jadi tambah uring2-an. Ya gak? Dan faktanya si Andi enjoy sama urusan ngepak2... So ya why noot. Toh? Gw selalu bilang sama nyokap, jadi Andi tuh enak. He never lose sleep over practically ANYTHING hahaha. Misalnyaaa waktu gw kesakitan setenga mateng pas mau lahiran Onya, dia mah ngorok ngorok aja di korsi hospital. Ga ada kuatir2-nya acan. It just him. It's as if he has his own ...

The last couple of weeks there're too much things going on with me. My body and mind is definitely telling me something.  As hard as it was for me to admit, but there are just too much pressure on me at this moment.  This is not a post about not being grateful nor complaint. This is me being honest to myself. Nothing more, and nothing less.  I need to stop beating myself up. Need to wind down n relax a bit.... I put too much expectation on myself. I've always believed that there is a reason for everything. The reason why Im feeling what Im feeling now is probably to humble me. I'm a little fish in a big pond. For those who knew my story, they'd know that I've always came on top of my situation.  But this time, I feel like Im drawning. Let me live in my past glory for a while. I may not have a degree, but in terms of job- I've always been favoured. God's been so good. I went from one height to another height. I've got a once-in-a-lifetime experience... I ...