The Me Inside....

Wise person once said that if you feel scared, writing down your fears will turn them into conceptual words, and then when you look at them straight in the eye, they'll slowly fade away as figments of your imagination, ... allowing you to emerge renewed, strong and courageous. Im almost 33 weeks pregnant. My estimated delivery date is 4-5 weeks away and pardon me, but I am scared stiff! Therefore, Im going to do what that wise person said, ... and put down a list of things that I'm fearful of: • That I cant take the pain and I'll pass out. • That baby's head is too big for the birth canal and I have to go into a C-section. • That the sight of the epidural needle, should I have to take one, will make me pass out • That Im halfway from somewhere when birth contractions hit me • That Im at the malls when my water breaks and create shameful drama! • That Im in the office when my water breaks • That I go beyond 40 weeks • That baby doesn't want to drink my milk • That I ...

Just because our thoughts are not align, does NOT always mean Im wrong and you're always right. Tired of self-righteous people who think their way is the only right way. Maybe Im wrong, but there's also a chance that Im right. And guess what? You may be wrong too. Drop the whole bebong-nanny issue lah. Everybody tells me different things. You guys won't even let me speak for myself. Just shove everything down my head. Not to mention about me quitting work. Ok, as much as I complained A LOT about how annoying my boss is... It is still damn difficult for me to quit my job! It's easy to give up something u dont like, or something worthless for you. It's like a NON smoker gives up smoking!! Easy to leave ur job when they pay u only 2 or 3 million. Easy to leave when they dont give u great medical benefits, great perks and lots of holidays! Tapi that is sooo not my case! Human, you are NOT in my shoes! U dont know what Im going through. So easy for people to say "a...

While most people finds out the gender of their baby as early as 12 weeks, Andi and I had to wait until almost 30 weeks. Last Saturday, May 1 2010, Baby S. finally revealed the gender. We are having a GIRL! We haven't really 100% firmed with the name. .. but so far, we've been calling her Sonia :) (the father insists!) Was kinda shocked, coz somehow I always felt that I'd be having a boy. Honestly, it took me some times to embrace the fact. We are so NOT rejecting Baby S. We just need to re-adjust our mindset :) Now Im really looking forward to see my little girl. Yes, ofcourse, there are worries as a first time parent. How am I gonna bathe her as a newborn? How am I gonna deal with baby blues (if any?) How am I gonna keep her warm at night? (Im such a pinguin! I used 2, 16 degree ACs at the same time) And now that I know she's a girl, How am I gonna raise her? How am I gonna dress her? How am I gonna tell her about menstruation? How am I gonna protect her? How am I gon...