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Need the World to Subside!!!

Just because our thoughts are not align, does NOT always mean Im wrong and you're always right.

Tired of self-righteous people who think their way is the only right way.

Maybe Im wrong, but there's also a chance that Im right. And guess what? You may be wrong too.

Drop the whole bebong-nanny issue lah. Everybody tells me different things. You guys won't even let me speak for myself.
Just shove everything down my head.

Not to mention about me quitting work.
Ok, as much as I complained A LOT about how annoying my boss is... It is still damn difficult for me to quit my job!

It's easy to give up something u dont like, or something worthless for you. It's like a NON smoker gives up smoking!!

Easy to leave ur job when they pay u only 2 or 3 million. Easy to leave when they dont give u great medical benefits, great perks and lots of holidays! Tapi that is sooo not my case!

Human, you are NOT in my shoes! U dont know what Im going through.
So easy for people to say "anak nomer satu, berenti lah.. Toh suami lu sanggup kasi nafkah" ... DONT U THINK I KNOW THAT???

Or the other side yg bilang "Ngapain berenti? Kan sayang..." Hellooo!! DONT U THINK I KNOW THAT TOO???

Stop judging me!! Stoooopppp!!!!! For the love of God... It's hard enough without all the external voices!

Which ever choice I made, tetep aja ada kubu yg ga seneng. Yeess, yeess... one of them will say dgn nada ngelecehin "ah, terserah.. Itu kan idup dia, uda dibilangin ga mau denger" dduhh!! Ga bisa ya support aja???

Kirain gw ga bingung??? Kirain gw bisa tidur enak mikirin ini?? Kirain gw ga takut ngambil keputusan??? Kirain gampang for me???????

As I always said to Abo.. It's hard enough making decision with full support from people around u. Karena u still have to overcome urself. Apalagi ini kl orang2 ga ada yg ngedukung.
Serba salah!! Semua berasa bener!

Gw aja masi bingung mau gimana!
Ga boleh gw bingung?? Jangan sok bener deh! At least gw berani jujur!! GUE BINGUNG!

And the pembantu-nanny thing... Ah!! Crap!!! One said HARUS pake nanny, others belon apa2 udah nganggep orang ga becus and instantly jadi super BAD parents kl pake nanny!

Ga bisa ya bilang bae2 aja tanpa harus ngerasa paling bener???

Stress tau!! STRESS dengernyaaa!!! Ngerti ga sih??

Belon lagi2 prentelan laen...
Takut proses lahirannya lah,
Takut baby kenapa2 lah (amit2 tok tok chooy!)
Takut ASI ga kuarlah,
takut ga bisa mandiin lah,
takut baby blues lah,
takut ga bisa nanem value yg bener lah,
Takut ga sabaran lah,
takut duit ga cukup lah (Oh yes!! Im being realistic here! I want my child-ren- to have the best. Food, products, toys, educations... And none of those are cheap! Ga bisa kan bergantung ama orang tua terus)

Kirain gw pengen over thinking all those?
Kirain gw ga pengen bisa happy-go-lucky and bilang "liat nanti deh gimana"

Do u really think Im enjoying all those thoughts????
Do u really think I enjoy sleepless nights?

Tau ga sih masalahnya?
Masalahnya as much as try to deny it, tapi I (still) look up so much ke kedua belah kubu itu!!

Kirain gua ga kepengen bener2 ga peduli omongan orang?!?!???

(un?)Fortunately I still have heart!!
Gua masih punya hati!!
Kl yg ngomong orang2 yg ga penting buat gw, gw ga akan peduli.

Aaahh!!
WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST SUPPORT WATEVER DECISION I MAKE sih?
Support aja! Ga usah nge-judge!
Ga usah nyalahin gua!!
Ga usah berasa paling bener!
Ga usah tersinggung or sakit ati kalo gw raise my opinion!!

Mau gw berenti kek, ngga kek, pake bebong kek, ngga kek, pake suster kek, ngga kek.

DONT U THINK I WANT THE BEST FOR MY OFFSPRING????????!?!
Ini anak gue. Anak pertama gue.
What make u think I wouldn't give my best for her? What?? Tell me! Whaatt?!??!!?

You guys!!!! Of ALL people, harusnya paling tau.
You guys!!!! Of ALL people should know me better than that!

I go ALL out for people I care about! Dlm bentuk tenaga, uang, barang... YOU should know better!
I normally give the BEST yg gw bisa!
YOU-SHOULD-KNOW! For goodness sake, YOU, of all people- should know me!!

Kalo what YOU think is sooo freaking important to me, why can't what I think is important to you??

Emangnya gue ga disayang?

Kenapa sih NOONE ever bother to ask me how I feel?!?
NOONE asked me what I think, What I want??

Everybody is so damn busy making decision for me!
Everybody is too busy TELLING me what to do, and what Not to do.

Ga pernah ada yg bother ASKING me!
Noone ask me how I am!

I wanna be alone sekarang!
Desperately!
Im depressed!!
I can't even drive without orang disekeliling gw marah2!!

Ga bisa tuker pendapat tanpa mereka act so defensive ngebela pendapat masing2!!

Pengen suara2 luar itu ilang for a while!
Let me find myself yg udah ketimbun!
Pengen what I think and how I feel matters juga for them!!!

STRESS!!! Uda diubun2!!!!!

Sent from my iPhone

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