The Me Inside....

Since you've been gone, I dont like coming home. Feel so lost. I dont even know what to do with my socks. The image of you waiting for me to take shower, then when I walked to my room... kamu cuma ngeliatin aja dengan mata gedemu. Sampe aku buka pintu kamar, balik badan mau tutup pintu.. You didn't move. You waited in front of the bathroom. Tapi matanya ngeliatin mulu. Then when I signaled you with my hand, or pas aku bilang "kakah, sini!" ... baru deh kamu buru2 bangun, ngambil kos kaki yg udah ga diemut, trus jalan cukucuk kucuk ke ikut ke kamar. Trus minta naek ke ranjang..... Ahh, you were never a jumper dari kecil dulu. Kamu bahkan ga pernah bisa turun tangga sendiri. Terlalu manja!! Ga kaya piko yg aujubilee aktifnya waktu muda. Uuhh... kakaah... Aku relaaa banget kok kamu pergi. Sungguh. Aku cuma kangen banget. Kehilangan... apalagi abu kamu belum sampe lagi dirumah. Im lost without youuuu!!! Kemaren aku, papi ama mami talked about you. You know, you are loved....

Dear Sayang.... Gapapa kok, sungguh gapapa. Cucu bilang kamu udah 90 taun kalo kamu manusia. The most important thing, I know that you know that we - I - love you so much. And I also know that you've lived a very good life. You dont have to fight if you dont want to. You can go ko... -------- Wrote that yesterday. She's gone now. Kakah... I just wanna say thank you. ... for 14 years you've brought joy. You've coloured my day. Papi bilang kemaren siang Piko nyamperin kamu ya neng? kata papi tiba2 buntut kamu kepot2 girang. Tapi kamu disuruh 'jalan' belum mau. Kamu nungguin aku pulang kantor ya sayang? Makasih banget ya... Ga usah takutan lagi, aku rasa di surgamu ga ada geledek. Kalopun ada, aku yakin kamu uda ga takut lagi. All the fears and pains are gone now. Kan ada Piko yg nemenin kamu.... aku yakin ada Tuhan Yesus juga. Semaleman aku ngimpiin kamu. Kamu balik lagi - tapi at the end, kamu pergi - masuk ke pintu surga. Kamu tenang banget perginya. Yes dear......