The Me Inside....

http://www.alife4sale.com wow. Gila ye orang jaman sekarang.. I.am.speechless.

It's a silent trembling each time I hear the words being spoken, and then I wonder why is it that resentment seems to creep into my heart. It's the knowledge that while you keep saying ' I don't care if people bother about me or not ' and actually feel as if you mean it, but when you keep looking for caring words from the person who claims to love you, but gets nothing in return… then you start to wonder. Why am I so weak? I don't like being weak. I want to be strong. but hey, what was I expecting? I meant it when I said it didn't matter. … But I guess, it matters after all. So when the mirror came up before me, why am I so upset? I said it didn't matter, but right now, those feelings are roaring back at me. Denial, my dear girl, it's denial that has placed you here, and so, now, what are you going to do about it? Im getting out of here. I can't wait to get outta here. You know wat? Even Aceh sounds good. I should've sent my CV there. In...

"saya ga perlu duit, wong udah kaya raya" Astagaa! .... kok ada ya makhluk idup seangkuh itu?  *elus elus dada prihatin*

Si kupluk udah ngegreyeng pengen punya bayi... Kalo taon depan (or the year after next) punya baby, pastinya bakal jadi stay at home mom. Tapi I wanna be a stay at home mom by choice. ... because I want to. ... bukan karena I have nothing to do. ... bukan karena I want to justify myself. It's so easy for people to be a stay at home mom disaat mereka ga punya anything to hold on to. Tapi kalo misalnya a manager with at least 25jt income a month, then you'll have more to think about to be a stay at home mom. And when you choose to be one, then you know that it is your choice. that the baby is more important then 25 juta. It's an excellent sacrifice. Sayang juga kali yaa kalo biasa terima duit 25jt sebulan, trus tiba2 stop. waduuh..... tough choice buat gw, at least buat sekarang Laen lagi kalo misalnya emang KUDU kerja. Some ppl mau kok brenti kerja n ngurusin baby-nya. ... tapi kalo dia brenti kerja, kebutuhan rumah tangga ga ketutup. Naah... they dont have any choice. Gw s...

People are lacking in passion. Most people just go with the flow without having specific goals and determinations. Kenapa sih Oprah bisa touches many lifes? I believe karena dia punya passion. Kenapa Tantowi Yahya bisa sukses pdhal cuma lulusan STM? .. karena dia punya passion. Kenapa Michael Jordan bisa sukes? .. selaen bakat, dia juga punya passion for basketball. I reckon, hard work alone wont do. You have to have the passion, then only you'll break forth. Jadi orang kudu punya semangat, ... kudu punya kemauan. Tapi tetep dasarnya harus ada passion. Kalo ga ada passion, you'll be like a horse... kerja keras n (maybe) sukses... .... tapi tanpa passion, I don't think bakal ada fulfillment. It's only gonna be an "its just another day" - kinda mentality. Tanpa passion, then you wont try as hard. Without passion, you wont work as hard. without passion, you wont be as happy. When was the last time you really want something so badly? So badly that you'd litera...

Ngedadak jadi kepikiran...... BH GUA DICUCI KOOOK!!! Enak ajaaa!! Itu dicuci koook! Just because you saw it at the same spot, doesn't mean itu BH kaga dicuci yeee.. lagiaaan, BH kan ga dipake tiap ari.. kalo misalnya cuma dipake 2 jem sehari ya ga langsung dicuci laaa. Enak ajaaa.. Itu BH DICUCIIII!!! *harga diri tertoreh*

Of all the people in this universe, .... him??? bener2 unbelievable. Really really hard to believe. He said : "kl ngomonk ama org yg ga peduli kt diketawain, dibilang lg mimpi. yes mimpi but the dream will come true" Still can't believe, I've known him for 14 years, ... but never talked to him apart from a casual "hi-bye" Then suddenly his message came to my inbox. And voila! Answered prayer. One step closer. Amazing. ... it's beyond words ... Thanks.

I love Dr. Miranda Bailey. She's a superb 'shoulder to cry ons' - material. "I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of a year, and I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we'll all be okay. I believe a lot of things. I believe that - I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive is what makes us survive. " - Isobel "Izzie" Stevens The show just keeps getting better. And better. And betterer. Simply the best drama ever!

I don't know how much story words can tell. There's constant music playing in my head - an orchestra of faith, a conductor of none. I don't remember the tune.... I didn't write the lyrics. This song belongs to no one. Contemplation is no sin, and neither is compromise. It is you, it is I, and no one else will ever know. I'll stop trying to make sense of a melody left unwritten. But I will not fall apart. Let's start over. Horreee! :)

Im in my late twenties already!! Aarrgghh!

I sort of realized the power of honesty these few weeks, how it can be laced with little streaks of cock and bull stories, and yet the force of its power would still spill out in considerably huge gushes. And how that force can topple you over. I had a spat with someone immediately after the encounter of honesty. So honesty, to you. Who reads this blog, who knows me, who knows me in person from a very close-up point of view, and who, perhaps, misunderstands me. What is it to you? Do you skew it? Mould it into a shape desirable to fit the aesthetic standards of your mind's eye? Or honesty, to you. Who reads this blog, who knows me, and who perhaps is distrustful, and hold grudges, because of the things I've done to you, as well as to someone you love dearly. Should I say I'm sorry? Does honesty count, when I say sorry, just for the sake of saying it, but in all honesty, I actually feel, this, this terrible pain inside of me, telling me this, 'It's not just yo...

..... That in actual fact, people are genuinely nice, with good intentions at all. Put one guy in front of the mike and camera, and if he says that he hates corruption and hates racisms and hates bribery and hates radicalism, ... then he's probably speaking the truth. However, ahah! corporations are evil. And when government are run like corporations, how can they be not evil? Repeat after me, the government is evil. The opposition is evil. Put people in a group and they behave like weird cult members. Human beings are evil. An old friend would say this, 'THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THE HUMAN RACE.' In times like these.... I totally agree.

For the 100th time! I am not the type of person who goes and jumps up and down each time the friend-count on my facebook or friendster increases by 5 or 10. So Tom, Agus, Hayun, Harry, and whoever.. don't lah pandai-pandai add add here, add add there. … I don't care to be Friends. I don't like you. I don't know you. I'm not interested in getting to know you. I know you know a friend of a friend of mine, but that doesn't mean that 'therefore I can add you as a contact'. I'm a bitch like this.. so live with it lah.