This is (not) My Now (yet)

One day,
I will sing this song,
... and cry with a grateful tears.

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I'd reached the end

Baby that was then
But I am made of more than my yesterdays

[Chorus]
This is my now,
and I am breathing in the moment
Cuz I look aroundI can't believe the love I see

My fears behind me,
gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then, this is my now.

Had to decide was I gonna play it safe
Or look somewhere deep inside
and try to turn the tide
Find the strength to take that step of faith.

[Bridge]
And I have the courage like never before, yeah
I've settled for less but ready for more
Ready for more

This is my now

Comments

Bucket List

Yep. Been hearing a lot about people dropped dead suddenly. Mulai dari si Adjie Masaid, babenya si Joshua, then just now Emma's friend juga Dadaism died of heart attack. She was 29 years old, just got ,arrayed last October. Life is so fragile. That's why I really hate Andi each time I have to remind him over and over again about healthy lifestyle. Anyway, decided to make a bucket list for myself. 1. Back to NZ 2. Sky dive 3. Vacation to Russia 4. Having more than enough funds for Onya to pursue her degree in England, Oxford University preferably :) 5. Ngeliat Andi punya bodi keren 6. Buying a house for my parents 7. Karet tengsin dijual Hmmm....... Belon kepikiran yg lawn. Nanti di update lg deh

Lavender and Butterfly

My very first (and probably my last) tattoo. Why lavender ? Because I love the smell. I love the colour. Lavender is pretty much the only plant that stays alive in my garden. It thrives in pretty much any weather with very little care. It lives with a big bunch of other lavenders but it can also lives on its own little bundle. It shows strength, and grace. Butterfly means beauty. Not just superficial beauty... but beauty after a storm. Beauty that was earned. Like, after it went through struggles from a cocoon. Plus, you see butterfly (normally) in a great weather. Adds the beauty to the surroundings, like a balance in the universe. Psalm 23:6 , is what I really resonate in my life. That no matter what, no matter where, no matter how many bad decisions I’ve made.... God’s goodness and mercy is always with me. That I’m okay. That the God who made the universe loves me still. That regardless how fucked up I am, His goodness and mercy is always wi...

A Wife's Heart

Postingan kali ini buat Andi. Feel so blessed beyond words punya suami kaya beliau. Walo banyak rese n nyebelinnya juga. He works really hard. I mean REALLY hard. I know I've complained about him being too busy, but lately he changed. Yes, dia masih sibuk banget di kantor. Yes, dia masih suka 'nyetrap' gw di mobil suru tunggu. Tapi I know that family is his top priority. The house is almost done. Andi spent hours last Sat and Sun buat bebersih rumah. Gw ga boleh ikut. "masih debuan banget" - gitu katanya. He knows Im allergic to dust and frankly, what can a pregnant woman possibly do? Ga mungkin juga kan gw ngangkat2 furniture. Naek tangga aja suka engap. Dapet laporan dari Otoy, Andi ngangkat2 barang ampe mukanya merah, ampe kringetan ngeces2... Gw tau dia pasti cape banget. Tapi begitu pulang he brought nothing but his big, warm smile. "Udah. Nanti gw sekali lagi kesana, finalize bersih2 - then you can come. Tuh gw beliin kelapa, mau diminum sekarang ga?...

The Me Inside....

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