Most of the time, I dont need "advice".
Just shut up and listen.
Just be on my side.
Funny how people you know for decades still dont get it. Yet there are people who u met just a couple of years ago, get it.
Dont push me to tell you what's going on.
I will tell you. In my own terms.
And if I suddenly became reserved, it means I want you to back off.
Ask a genuine "are you okay?"
And just be there and support me.
Sometimes, you dont even have to understand.
Just be there and bear with me.
A simple text like this will do.
That suffices.
She knows I'll tell her when Im ready.
Heck sometimes it wasn't even about readiness.
Sometimes I just dont wanna talk about it because it gets too stressful.
I have my own way of managing my internal war.
Things are happening at the same time and they're overwhelmingly pressuring.
Stop saying things like "oh you'll be fine. It's just a common surgery"
"You're not gonna die on that table"
"You're in good hands, dont worry"
Just shut up!
When I told you Im anxious about the surgery, Im not asking you to belittled my feelings.
The fear is real.
The anxiety is real.
The nerve is real.
Keep your wise advice to yourself. I dont need it.
How difficult it is to say "I know it must be scary...."
Or "I'd be scared too if I were you...who wouldn't?"
And give me a hug *or a virtual hugs if you're thousands of miles away from me*.
Stop giving me solutions and advices!!
If and when I need medical advices, I would've gone to Shona and Darren (which I did!!) - so yes. I did get a REAL advice from REAL medical professionals.
Even Simon Bann called me a day after Shona told him I was worried sick!
So yes, they are THAT good in making sure I feel comfortable with the procedures.
So again... yes, I have enough advises from 3 medical specialists. One of which will literally poke four holes on my stomach and cut me open (if necessary) this coming Monday.
So... all I ask is: just be my person.
Dont be my specialist. Please?
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