Ini kaya masa2 "terahir" kita sebelum dia lahiran dan sebelum gw ke NZ.
It's hard pondering on the thoughts that we're gonna be apart across continent.
Padahal these couple of years juga kita jauh ya.
Gw di jakarta, dia di bali... tapi now berasanya beda aja.
It's like, one chapter of our life is ending.
Starting a new one - a better one, ofcourse - in a totally different journey.
I'm on my way to my promised land.
She's on her way to motherhood.
Alas, both of us are going to live our dreams.
We've been friends for almost two decades, it's a total blessing. Not everybody has that privilege.
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I'm getting anxious, really.
Getting out of comfort zone really is never easy.
I'm so darn worry about everything under the sky.
Onya is the one I think most.
Belakangan gw sering ngeliatin dia.
She's one happy, bright and confident kid.
God knows, I would literally do ANYTHING in my power to keep her as that.
I pray and pray and pray and praaay that God will grant me wisdom, discerment and patience in raising her.
I don't ever want to be a momzilla.
I never was and certainly hope never will.
I wanna be a good mom (and wife, of course).
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Andi is not really on my "worry about - list"
Somehow I know he'll do well.
I know that he knows I support him all the way.
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I know my parents also been losing sleep lately.
Every single morning - without absence since Onya was born, papi ALWAYS text or bbm "onya gimana semalem (bobonya)?"
And today, as I toss and turn at the wee hour of dawn, at 3:28 am papi bbm.
Ya itu, nanya "onya gimana semalam?"
I asked him ko belon tidur.
Lagi nonton Fox, he said.
... But I know my dad.
He has too many things in his head too about me leaving.
He said casually yesterday sambil cengengesan,
"Papa mama pada ga bisa tidur mikirin Onya"
One thing about my dad, eventhough I've been calling my folks "papi mami" eversince I can remember, he always refer to himself and mami as "papa" and "mama"
Mami juga has been saying this for at least a gazillion times.
"Siap ga kamu de, ga ada mami loh disana.."
Mami tuh ya, as annoying as she can be sometimes, tapi she's the only person I would trust with without a single doubt.
I know she'll take a super good care of Onya.
Papi juga sih, tp kalo buat urusan gendong - ngurus makannya etc, mami is the best despite some times she gets on my nerve krn gw berasa dia terlalu nurutin Onya. Buktinya she raised me well tuh.
I am who I am now ya because she helps shaping me with her parenting.
She made a solid foundation in me.
In the midst of temptaions during my youth in western country - I manage to go against the flow and say "no" to sex and drugs. (Well, pernah si nyoba cimeng twice hahaha - different posting about that later)
I'm gonna miss them ofcourse.
I'm scared.
I'm anxious.
Honestly, I'm not sure how to do it all.
Bahkan at times, gw berasa kayanya gw ga sanggup deh.
Tapi deep down I know we'll make it.
Somehow. :)
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