Oouww yeaawwhh...
Blakangan ini kayanya gw lagi on fire ngapdet blog.
While Im at it, might as well ketak ketik terus sebelon mood nya ilang lagi.
Ujan uda 3 ari ga brenti.
Dingin lagi.
Heater nyala lagi.
Anywaaayy, today I had lunch with Fee.
Kemaren gw sms dia.
Benernya gw ngajak ngopi aja, tapi ternyata dia mo sekalian lunch.
Yo wis deh lunch.
Anak2-nya si fee ini temen Onya.
Lucunya, both she and Matt are brunette - tapi anaknya 2-2nya itu yg beneran blond with big blue eyes. Bisa gitu ya.
I had a good time.
Ngobrol ngalor ngidul sampe ahirnya ngomongin soal calling.
And there were a bit of tears involved hahaha.
Ga nyangka juga si gw bisa cocok n nyambung ngobrol sama dia.
2 jam kayanya lewat cepet.
These last 2 weeks emang there were (are!) battles inside my head.
It's a struggle between the mind and the heart.
I've been running and avoiding that little small voice inside my heart.
I need to make a decision on how to respond.
I know that God will never give up on me.
At some point, I need to make that first step anyway.
I admit, fear is holding me back.
There are way too many "what if"s in my head.
Not the kind of "what if" in the past, bukan yg regret "seandainya dulu gw bla bla bla".
No, bukan itu.
Tapi lebih ke "what if" in the future.
Yang "kalo gw begini, nanti gimana kalo bla bla bla"
Lebih ke efek dari tindakan yg akan gw ambil sekarang.
Aaahhh membingungkan memang.
Sometimes I wish otak gw ga usa mikir yg detail2.
Jalanin aja dulu, liat nanti begimana.
Tapi ga bissaaaaa.
My brain is playing chess all the time.
It analyzes the next few moves, gerakan musuh, kalo gw jalanin ini, nanti musuhnya jalanin itu, trus gw musti kuarin pion anu, tapi kalo si musuh nguarin anu, gw musti gerakin si ono, atau mending gw majuin si ini supaya si anu nanti bisa gerak ke sono, trus kalo dari sono ga bisa kesini, nanti majuin si itu dan kalo dia keluarin si ini nanti bla bla bla....
Njlimet kan bacanya?
Gw nulisnya juga njlimet!
Gimana nasib otak gueeeeee?!
Tak tak otaaakk...
Diem dulu lah kau.
Gantianlah biar si ati yg kencengan ngomongnya.
But but buuuttt, si ati juga indecisive siih.
Uda tau kok sebenernya, tapi masi punya sejuta alesan.
Valid ones!
Nah! Bingung lagi kaaannn!
Semuanya itu valid.
Alesan2 yg masuk akal dan emang musti dipikirin mateng2.
Crraaapp.
Istilahnya ada 2 perusahaan,
Perusaan ati, and perusahaan otak.
Si perusahaan ati lagi berantem internally,
Perusahaan otak juga lagi berantem internally.
Tapi at the same time, secara external si ati ama si otak juga berantem!
Mampus ga tu. Huhuhuhuuuu
Tak otaak.
Ti atiiii.
Yok hibernasi dulu dua2-nya yoook.
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