Uda lama nulis tp ngejedok di draft...
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So yesterday was my first.
.... of having a panic attack.
Have been feeling under the weather since last week.
Started off with a simple lost of appetite, but then things began to build up. Nausea, pain on my back, fever...
Thank God Shona, my favourite GP, is back from her maternity leave. So I went to see her last Wednesday.
Prescribed some antibiotics as my urine culture showed a slight infection.
Thought that'll settle it. But boy was I wrong!
Not only did I feel nauseous, but the vomitting and diarrhea started.
Went back to see Shona the next day and we did a blood test and an ultrasound.
All results were clear. No sign of infection, even my second urine test was clear. So we stopped the antibiotics as no sign of bacteria infection was found in any of the test.
Good thing nya, Shona is such a good GP. She keeps checking on me, even when she's home - she still made the time to rang me. By Friday I still couldn't eat nor drink. I was dehydrated.
Shona wanted me to go to the ED that night, but I told her I'll wait just a little longer. She made me promise that if I vomitted again, then I needed to go straight to ED. I knew I was getting seriously dehydrated as I realised that I hadn't peed the whole day.
The power of mind. The thought of going to ED kept the food in hahaha.
Anyway, we thought it was just viral.
Eventhough none of the tests pin-pointed what's wrong with me... I got better. By Sunday Im back to my old self again. Slowly, I started to eat. Mind you, the last "proper" meal I had was on Tuesday at 1 pm. So my tummy was practically empty.
End of story? Tentu tidak!
I got better. A lot better.
But on Tuesday, there was a sudden pain on the left side of my body. Started on my chest, all the up to my neck and shoulder and down to my arm and fingers. Only on the left side! I freaked out! For a moment I tought I was having a stroke. Pain was so intense I couldn't even move nor breathe.
Last about 5 minutes.
Soooo went to see Shona again today. Told her what happened. Then suddenly I had an onset of shortness of breath as if I had just gone up and down the stairs.
Blood pressure and heartbeat sky rocketing. My pulse was 139bpm!
My fingers started tingling and I couldn't breathe!
Through all that, my oxygen level was normal though. So practically, it was all in my head.
Shona was awesome, she kept me follow her breathing. Once I settled a bit, my pulse was down to 126bpm. Still high, but slightly better.
She got nurse Katherine to sit with me for a good 2 hours. During those times, I had a few more episodes. They tried to keep my mind off it.
And oh!! The "breath through the brown paperbag" didn't work for me. Ha! Tambah engap malah iya hahaha.
Anyway, that was intense!!
After almost 2 hours and I was still not settling down, a call was made. I needed to go to the ED. So I finally let them call Andi.
Tadinya gw ga mau kasi tau Andi, ribet la ya.... Dia kan lagi sama Onya.
But there was nothing more I can do. I gave in. I let them call Andi. Ahirnya Onya dititip ke Silky deh.
But!! Emang kayanya otak gw takut sama UGD yah... For the second time my mind conquered my body. My breathing started to slow down. The shaking was gone. Pulse dropped to 84.
Intense!!!
When Andi arrived, gw dah gapapa. We sat there for another 20 minutes.
Intinya, I was allowed buat gak ke ED tonight. Again, Shona and Katherine made me promise as soon as there is something gw kudu langsung ke ED.
Shona is going to arrange a chest Xray tomorrow. We'll see how it goes. Pretty sure there'll be nothing sih, buat jaga2 aja.
So yeah, panic attack was real. Wow. Gak lagi deh amit amiit.
It's 1:38 in the morning now, I'm feeling okay. Heartbeat is slightly on the border though.. Quite rapid at 96 bpm :(
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