Sepsis for the Second Time

Sepsis, for the second time in less than 7 months.

This time I felt like it wasn't THAT bad, but when I read the summary it actually quite bad because this time my liver was compromised too. 

As I said before, sepsis is no joke.  I dont really know how I get this life-threatening infection multiple times.

I hadn't been feeling well since Saturday. I had nasty headache and temperature on Monday, but I was OK on Tuesday. Masi jalan seharian kok ngopi2 cantik and masi maen ke rumah temen (yea, surprise surprise... i DO have social life IF I want to). 

I'll be starting my new job (separate post about this) next Monday, 26 June. So I thought I'll just have some check up on Wed.

So I went to Shona on Wednesday, 14 June. Just a couple hours before my scheduled appointment, my body was shivering. Ga lama sih... then I went ketemu Shona. 

Pas di check ternyata I had 38.6 fever. Heart rate was 140 bpm. Blood pressure was still ok. Then she sent me off to the lab immediately to get my blood cultured.

She called me that night at about 8, kasi tau kalo tes darah gw CRP-nya elevated to 18 (normal below 3) which means there is an inflammation/infection somewhere.

So dia blg if I get worse, straight to ED.

Came Thursday, 15 June. 

Andi cuti, not because gw sakit tapi karena kita mau jemput ucok di airport.

Temperature was OK the whole morning. Tapi around lunch I can feel that my temp is going up. 

Shona telpon lagi ngecek. She's been in contact with the Infectious Desease Specialist and the ID team wanted to hold off on the antibiotics karena mereka mau get to the bottom of it and cari sumber infeksinya. 

Pas Shona telpon, I told her I feel OK but I can feel the fever is coming. She wanted me to have a repeat bloodtest.

Trus bener aja, like 10 minutes after I got off the phone my body started to shake VIOLENTLY! It didn't stop for more than 20 minutes. Gigi sampe gemeletukan and I literally had no control of my body. Andi cuma pelukin aja selama itu. The shaking was so bad that I pulled a muscle on my calf and made me limp for few days.

When the shaking stopped, my temperature spiked to 40.5°c. Kacau ya.

Trus ke lab deh tes darah. 

I ran out of veins.... my veins are too small, and they collapsed and burst... jadi bloodtests were pretty traumatic. 

Abis bloodtest kita jemput ucok di airport. Ga jadi makan diluar deh, bungkus aja makan dirumah jadinya. 

Malemnya Shona telpon lagi. CRP level from my second bloodtest jumped up to 61. She asked me to go to hospital. Tapi gw ga mau, come on.... ucok baru sampe kannn... jadi Shona blg dia mau ketemu gw Jumat pagi. 

Ya udah, jumat ketemu dia... semua di check, and she was happy for me to stay home for now. 

Jumat sore masi feverish.... jam 8-an gw bobo. Jam 10an telpon rumah bunyi. It was the hospital. Ga tau deh ngomong apa detailnya sama Andi. Intinya the blood culture result just came in, and they found a nasty bacteria in it. 

They told me to go to the hospital.

Tapi ya karena gw cranky, and gw juga lagi tidur kan... makanya Andi tawar2-an sama dokter. Intinya kita harus ke hospital sebelon jam 10 pagi besoknya.

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Besoknya suhu naek lagi.... ga sampe 40 si, tapi late 39. 

Gw blg sama Andi, there's no way I can get away this time. Gw yakin bakal disuru opname. Beneeerr aja kannnn. Pas sampe ED, triage nurse langsung suru gw masuk abis check all my vitals. Dari situ aka gw tau gw bakal admitted. Huuu

Ya intinya, they pumped me with heavy doses of IV antibiotics. They had to put an IV line in the most awkward spot karena I ran out of good veins. Being dehydrated juga not helping bikin vein tambah kempes. Plus I've been vomitting juga. 

Suhu masi naek turun... malemnya malah sempet ampir 40 lagi pdhal I had a huge dose of antibiotics kan. 

Senen uda bole pulang. Itupun setelah ngemis2 sama ID Team. General Medicine Team udah happy for me to go, karena mereka yakin sumber sepsisnya dari kidney. Tapi si ID Team mau cari sumbernya. Ok, if it was the kidney... kenapa recurrent? and how did the bacteria entered the bloodstream this time? 

Jadi gw di release dengan syarat musti langsung scan kidney besokannya.

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Baca detail medical record gw, giling deh... ini beneran sampe melek2 ditulis sepsis. Pas di ED pun dokternya bilang thanks for coming, soalnya ini serious. 

Trus pas di ward dokternya jelasin lagi lebih detail. The type of bacteria they found in my bloodstream itu the kind yg move fast n it can (and it will!) cause organ failure within hours, resulting in death. So this is serious shit. 

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Sekarang gimana? Umm... im okay. Tired aja, padahal ga ngapa2-in. Badan masi shut down rasanya. 

Anyway, just a thought.... We know that eventually every living being is going to die. Ever wonder, if you can choose, how your death is gonna be like? 

I dunno, these whole sepsis thing make me think.... This makes me wonder... will there be a third sepsis? They said third time is a charm.... will this bacteria eventually "get" me? To put it bluntly, will I one day die of sepsis? What a way to go. It's gonna be very painful, but I reckon it's gonna be fast too. So yeah, if I get to choose how I die... maybe sepsis would be a choice. Maybe it's a lot better than cancer, coz it's gonna be so much quicker. 


A bit mellow about the whole thing.
My mind has gone wild lately. Wilder than normal.
Some things are just meant to be kept for you and the creator of the universe.
Noone, and I mean NOONE, will ever get what's in my head.
Oh well.