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Pride and Things Around It

I think pride is necessary. 
Not the kind of pride that looks down on others. Not the kind of pride that makes you think you’re better than others. Not the kind of “lucifer” pride thing. 

More of the kind of pride that makes you feel good about yourself. The kind that make you feel like you belong. The confidence that you’re doing well because God has enable you to do so. 
The kind that, you know, still gives God the glory... but at the same time gives you the confidence you need to move forward, to embrace life.

Sometimes, your best is just not good enough. And sometimes you wonder.... is there really such thing as “free will”? Because at the end of the day, God’s plans prevail. And those plans.... are good even if you can’t see it now. 

Im one who questions a lot. Like, A LOT. Im one who thinks deeper than most people. But Im also one who knows that my faith in God is greater than all my questions, thoughts and doubts.

So God, if You’re reading this..... I dont even wanna talk to You right now. You know how upset I am. Like a child, Im throwing my tantrum at You right now. 

.... and like any good parent, You stood Your ground and refused to give in to my tantrum. You let me have my fit, but You never leave me. You’re watching me, making sure I dont hurt myself. You know I need to vent. You know I need to release that steam off me. 

Im not done, God. Let me still throw my tantrum. I need it.

And as what I always tell Sonia.... Im telling you this too: know that You still have me. I may roll on the ground, give You a hardtime, scream my lungs out.... but hey, dont we all do it from time to time? You have my heart no matter what. Regardless. I love You. There.

You don’t have to give me all the answers. You are sovereign. Still enthroned in my life, and You will always be.  Remember that prayer I said on 7 February 1999? Yeah, THAT one particular prayer...... I meant it. 

And I also know, that You love me. No matter what too.
So, there we have it. We’re good. 
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