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Wondering

It's been a while since I looked at the album of my past.

The snapshots of a memory sealed,

things that make me…. me.

 

I remember the breathless moments,

the times I swooned over words scrawled over a concave screen.

Those were the times, not too long ago..

... when I was younger, and more idealistic,

less cynical, and more liberal with the abuses.

 

At every sudden pitstop in life,

you pause to catch your breath...

.. and suddenly, everything you used to think was cool becomes uncool.

Even the word 'cool' is outdated now,

 

I prefer the medium paces we take,

the steps you make when you walk not so deliberately,

.. yet purposefully.

 

Maybe you'll strike it lucky like me,

one night after a heated week of disappointments,

when your spirits are let down,

.. and you think you'll take a lifetime climbing up the ladder again,

you take a chance-given lot, and walk into a Subway store,

put on your silly uniform,

and then you felt this urge to say to the stranger,

'Hello, Im Candice. Are you new here?'
And you talk, and you talk.

 

And then you smile.

Somehow you knew, you've met a life-long friend.

 

Or back in 1998.

You answered the phone and talked to another stranger,

'Ini siapa sih? Temennya Devit ya?'

Then the conversation went on.

 

And that very moment,

… somewhere in the clouds, God was tying the knots.

He knew long before we knew, that during the next 10 years,

we'd be arguing and shouting our names,

we'd be crying and scratching at each other's necks,

yes, always, always we will fight,

or at least every once in a blue moon.

 

But after the strangling,

there'll be the kisses and soft lip-caresses,

the way you say 'honey',

the smile on your lips and the 'thank yous',

and I sigh and I thank Him because he's given me a gift.

 

Im grateful for that, and everything You've taught me to see.
It's quite nice to be dreamy sometimes.

 

Im just afraid one day I forget how to.

At least I can promise I'll try not to forget.

 

Lord, I can't wait to board on that big jet plane.
Thank You… for the dreams.

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