Sabtu kemaren gw jaga booth di Pesta Blogger 2008.
It was a long, tiring yet rewarding day.
It was a long, tiring yet rewarding day.
Me being me, jadi mikir deeeh..
Jalan hidup seseorang itu ga bisa ditebak.
Look at me.
... Siapa sih gw?
Jalan hidup seseorang itu ga bisa ditebak.
Look at me.
... Siapa sih gw?
Beberapa taun yg lalu, I was just a kid yg too afraid or too shy buat pesen es teh di restoran.
gw masih inget how I struggle buat masuk restoran sendiri.
it took me literally 2 hours mondar mandir di depan restoran.
.... Ngeberaniin diri buat masuk n makan sendiri.
gw masih inget how I struggle buat masuk restoran sendiri.
it took me literally 2 hours mondar mandir di depan restoran.
.... Ngeberaniin diri buat masuk n makan sendiri.
A kid who got very sick saking stress-nya pas musti Job Training.
A kid yg would rather ate crackers at the locker room (sometimes bahkan makan di WC) dibanding musti makan di kantin sendiri.
A kid yg..... berusaha break her own hand cuma supaya bisa skip training.
THAT extreme loh jaman dulu... saking takutnya ketemu orang, I would rather break my hand.
(of course, I didn't break my hand. I tried, but not enough guts liao.... tolol banget deh)
Sekarang?
My joy is when I can spend time at Starbucks.
Alone!
It dawned on me, Im working for the Embassy of the United States of America.
.... In Public Affairs Section.
.... In Public Affairs Section.
Of all the many sections... im with the Public Affairs.
Being the face of the United States in this country.
Being the face of the United States in this country.
Yes, the struggle still there.
Im not saying that Im a great people person now.
Im not saying that Im a great people person now.
Gw masih suka awkward di antara orang2 baru,
.. gw masih feel like hiding kadang2.
Tapi bener de... compared to who I was,
I really am a different person.
back to the question lagi... who am I?
God has given me such a great opportunity.
Seorang anak putus sekolah, boro2 punya master degree,
tapi been given so much.
hidupku penuh warna.
Seorang anak putus sekolah, boro2 punya master degree,
tapi been given so much.
hidupku penuh warna.
.. and It is only by God's grace I can be who I am now.
It is only by His goodness I can be where Im at.
It is only by His goodness I can be where Im at.
It's as if tiap fase keidupan gw udah disiapin.
As if gw di trained sedikit demi sedikit,
set the bar higher and higher each time.. until eventualy I'll reach the top.
Kayak my little niece si ubi..
step by step... mulai nyusu doang,
then makanan di blender,
sekang udah di tim ....
eventually she'll eat solid food on her own.
one step at a time... tapi terus naik for sure.
That's how life should be.
That's how my life is.
Still faaar from the top,
tapi on the right track.
Ga lepas dari banyak kesalahan,
ga lepas dari jeritan marah dan kekecewaan.
ga lepas dari ratapan n aer mata ga puguh..
ga lepas juga dari rengekan kemalasan..
Tapi like Ubi... Im allowed to make my own mistakes.
Im allowed to fall when I learn how to walk.
Im allowed to bang my head when I crawl.
Im allowed to walk (or run) oh so brave alone, only to find my feet slipped and fall.
sometimes when I fall, gw ga jatoh di kasur empuk.
.. kadang He let me fall on a hard ground.
I may be bruised, I may be in a whole lot of pains,
... but as I look back, all those wounds are necessary.
Kalo udah gitu, someone up there rushed into the picture.
He is reaching out for me.
In His own gentle (sometime harsh) ways...
Tuhan, thank you. Seriously.
I am loved.
I am blessed.
I grew.
Guard my heart, I wanna give more.
Let me be humble.
let me find more joy in giving.
Let me share the hope.
Let me share the dreams.
Let me share this moments.
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