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When the Sky's Dark

Here I am.
Turning and tossing.
Turning and tossing.

Came across a blog of some friend from FGT time.
I wonder how can one stays so fervent after almost 20 years.
Do they not see that the world has change?
Do they not have anyone hurt them?
Do they not get that churches are full of hypocrites?
Or do they just simply taking in whatever they're told to?

As for me...
I've changed.
I still have my faith in Jesus Christ.
That will never change.

But I have lost almost every faith on church goers.
I've seen too many twisted people in church.

People who goes to church every single week, look down on people who don't... And yet, still datengin ahli fengshui biar "hoki".

People who lift their hands up high in church... And yet, committed adultery, beat the shit out of their spouse.

People who serve so deligently in church... And yet, sleep around and actually brag and proud about it.

People who memorized scriptures, preached it.... And yet, can't even treat their maids like human being.

People yg begitu rajin perpuluhan, tapi disaat anak pembantunya sakit... Boro2 mau ngasi pinjem duit... Ngasi gaji aja ditahan2.

And I can go on and on and on with the list...

My point is:
How can one stays so faithfull to the church?

Andi and I were talking the other day...
Why do people so eager to multiply their numbers?
Kenapa org2 sibuk berlomba2 buat "memenangkan jiwa2"?
Why? Ngurus yg ada aja belon bisa kok.

Beneran niatnya menangin jiwa?
Beneran?
Yakin?
Bukan cuma fanatik gak puguh?

I reckon, kalo idup kita lempeng, we will attract people kok tanpa harus sok2 preaching.

Soo Lan contohnya.
Kenapa she earns my highest respect?
Because I see her life.
I see someone yg trully live the faith.
Ga cuma ngomong doang.
Ga cuma sekedar pergi ke gereja.

Simple thing...
Dengan dia berkomitmen ga pake or nonton sofftware/cd/vcd bajakan SAMA SEKALI.

Dengan dia trully menolak untuk nyogok polisi karena she wanna stay faithfull to the law. (Walo that makes her life difficult)

Dengan dia yg bener2 peduli, yg when she asked "how are you?", meant she REALLY cares and wanna know how are you.

For one, I'm trully blessed to have her as my mentor.
She sets the bar high for me.

I miss church.
As in, the 'real' church.

Church yg ga berlomba2 pake lighting and soundsystem yg keren.

Church yg nerima org dateng pake celana pendek tanpa diberi tatapan "ih! Ga sopan amat ke gereja pake celana pendek"

Church yg simple, yg gak usah heboh sama peralatan audio visual yg amat canggih dgn teknologi paling mutakhir.

Church yg ga usah fokus nyiptain lagu2 baru supaya bisa menuhin quota konser dan rekaman.

Church yg punya hati.

The world is way too loud.
The world is way too busy.
The world is way too hectic.
It spins so fast.

You know, at this point...
All I want is to sit down.
Do nothing.
Gak pingin mikir.
Gak pingin ngomong.
Gak pingin minta.
Gak pingin sibuk pelayanan.
Gak pingin sibuk mikirin orang
Gak pingin 'kerja buat Tuhan'
Gak pingin ngapa2in.

All I want...
Is simply BE in His presence.

All I want...
All I need right now....

... is to be a Mary.
Not a Martha.

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