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What to do when you dont know what to do??

I think Im at the end of my rope.

Just went out of a meeting with like... the WHOLE group of about 30 people.
My first big meeting.
The director, practically the highest rank - knows me by name.
Before the meeting starts, she started chatting and asked me about my holiday.
and by the time meeting officially started, she welcomed me back in front of everybody.
Taken me by surprise... I didn't even know she knows me, left alone giving me a formal welcome back.

So I must've done something right? Somehow?

But really - should I feed on my ego and pride?
Or should I maintain my sanity?

My mental state is definitely FAR from healthy... I sleep only 3-4 hours at the most during weekdays.
My brain just won't shut down and keep thinking about work.
Bottom line is: I am NOT happy.

So? it should be a very clear indication... right?
wrong.

I don't knooowwww! Alright? I-do-NOT-knoow!!! 

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