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Tuesday Update

I haven't been working since the wedding day.
Supposed to be working last Friday, but I didn't.
Maybe.... just maybe, Im too overwhelmed with my life.

I've got everything I need,
Im on top of the world.

But along with that, I know that I have responsibilities.
Going back to work tomorrow,
going back to the same black square once again.

Strangely, I .... am in the most, awkward, situation ever.
Why? Because I don't panic anymore.
I mean, what happened back there? I don't know!

Why am I not panicking when I'm supposed to be panicking?
I've got loads of things to read on my hands (dreamweaver, .Net, and flash), and I've got tons of shit at work.

.... but I'm just too darn relaxed.
I'm not even flipping when I find out how much pending works at the office.
I mean. HELLO?!?!
Someone knock the living daylight out of me!

I hope it's not complacency. I sure hope it's not complacency. This whole unconscious destressing process is freaking the hell out of me; even more than the stressing itself.

I think I need professional help.

hieellph.

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