Skip to main content
Ini Hatiku....

Hi Can,

I understand if you change your mind on me being witness,
but I would love to attend ur wedding.
You are important to me,
........
but told you before I will one day disappoint u as I am human.

just call GS n she said its ok.
We both can go.
I know I disappointed u today by sms.
.........
Much wave here but all is solve now,
forgive me?


Yes, I was disappointed.. but I forgive her.

Dear God,
You've given me so much, Lord.
So much.
And Im thanking You for it.
... but please, make it work.

I have NEVER looked up to someone the way I do to her.
It's not idolatry, it's just that... she's the one that touched my life.
She's the one that taught me about Your love.

She may have hundreds of students come and go in her life.
She may have hundreds of students that touched her life.
I may not be significant to her...

But I only have one spiritual mom, one comrade,
... one person that trully show me that it is possible to live a straight life in this corrupted world.

And God, there were numerous times that You showed Yourself real to me through her.
I know that You are a good God,
but I gotta be honest with You.... sometimes,
just sometimes, You seem so far.
So far that no matter how I run, I'd never catch up with You.

I know that You're the bestest friend a man can have.
... but sometimes, I just can't see You.
There were times when I feel like You dont even care.
There were times when I feel like You were just playing with my heart.
There were times when I feel like You were a mean God.
There were times when I totally lost my hopes.

And in those times, You sent her to me.
Reminding me of how much You love me.
Reminding me to see the bigger plan.

Can we talk about us now?

Lord, remember those times in Albert Park?
Or, remember the exam? when I felt like You literally, tangibly hugged me?

Remember when I told You that I wanted to get my eyebrow pierced?
Remember how I ran to You when my parents fought?
Remember when i cried out when I found out that I had to go back to Indo?

And how about Starbucks Imax?
Remember what I told You?
And the key? And my mobile?
Remember all of those?

Gee Lord, we had a great time together ay?

This, is my heart pouring. Listen to me.

I appreciate the many prayers you've whispered during the worst moments in my life, and the many hopes for my success in all that I dreamed of.
I appreciate the kind wishes, and the gentle words of encouragement that were meant to strengthen my quests.

I appreciate the moments of sorrow you experienced during my failures, and the little gestures of kindness that always made me feel better.
I appreciate your acceptance, your ability to understand, and the sincere friendship that always gave me such security.

I appreciate the wisdom of all the lessons you taught, and the meaning behind the words "unconditional love."
I appreciate all you've done -- every word and gesture.
I know you've been the best there is -- a Someone beyond all compare.

For all You've done, thank you. For all that You are, I love You.

There. A little honesty from me.

Sounds a bit too much?
That, is how much You've touched my life.

....
Sungguh berharga dimataMu Tuhan, kehidupanku
Kau membawa hatiku mendekat erat dengan hatimu
ku mengangkat wajahku memandang keindahanMu Yesus
Syukur bagi kesetiaanMu di sepanjang hidupku.
.... dan kuangkat tanganku, ke tahta kasih karuniaMu
Tak sekalipun Kau tinggalkanku, Yesus sahabatku.
~ Giving My Best ~

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Bucket List

Yep. Been hearing a lot about people dropped dead suddenly. Mulai dari si Adjie Masaid, babenya si Joshua, then just now Emma's friend juga Dadaism died of heart attack. She was 29 years old, just got ,arrayed last October. Life is so fragile. That's why I really hate Andi each time I have to remind him over and over again about healthy lifestyle. Anyway, decided to make a bucket list for myself. 1. Back to NZ 2. Sky dive 3. Vacation to Russia 4. Having more than enough funds for Onya to pursue her degree in England, Oxford University preferably :) 5. Ngeliat Andi punya bodi keren 6. Buying a house for my parents 7. Karet tengsin dijual Hmmm....... Belon kepikiran yg lawn. Nanti di update lg deh

Lavender and Butterfly

My very first (and probably my last) tattoo. Why lavender ?  Because I love the smell.  I love the colour.  Lavender is pretty much the only plant that stays alive in my garden. It thrives in pretty much any weather with very little care. It lives with a big bunch of other lavenders but it can also lives on its own little bundle. It shows strength, and grace. Butterfly means beauty. Not just superficial beauty... but beauty after a storm. Beauty that was earned.  Like, after it went through struggles from a cocoon. Plus, you see butterfly (normally) in a great weather. Adds the beauty to the surroundings, like a balance in the universe.  Psalm 23:6 , is what I really resonate in my life.  That no matter what, no matter where, no matter how many bad decisions I’ve made.... God’s goodness and mercy is always with me. That I’m okay. That the God who made the universe loves me still.  That regardless how fucked up I am, His goodness and mercy is always wi...

A Wife's Heart

Postingan kali ini buat Andi. Feel so blessed beyond words punya suami kaya beliau. Walo banyak rese n nyebelinnya juga. He works really hard. I mean REALLY hard. I know I've complained about him being too busy, but lately he changed. Yes, dia masih sibuk banget di kantor. Yes, dia masih suka 'nyetrap' gw di mobil suru tunggu. Tapi I know that family is his top priority. The house is almost done. Andi spent hours last Sat and Sun buat bebersih rumah. Gw ga boleh ikut. "masih debuan banget" - gitu katanya. He knows Im allergic to dust and frankly, what can a pregnant woman possibly do? Ga mungkin juga kan gw ngangkat2 furniture. Naek tangga aja suka engap. Dapet laporan dari Otoy, Andi ngangkat2 barang ampe mukanya merah, ampe kringetan ngeces2... Gw tau dia pasti cape banget. Tapi begitu pulang he brought nothing but his big, warm smile. "Udah. Nanti gw sekali lagi kesana, finalize bersih2 - then you can come. Tuh gw beliin kelapa, mau diminum sekarang ga?...