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Ini Hatiku....

Hi Can,

I understand if you change your mind on me being witness,
but I would love to attend ur wedding.
You are important to me,
........
but told you before I will one day disappoint u as I am human.

just call GS n she said its ok.
We both can go.
I know I disappointed u today by sms.
.........
Much wave here but all is solve now,
forgive me?


Yes, I was disappointed.. but I forgive her.

Dear God,
You've given me so much, Lord.
So much.
And Im thanking You for it.
... but please, make it work.

I have NEVER looked up to someone the way I do to her.
It's not idolatry, it's just that... she's the one that touched my life.
She's the one that taught me about Your love.

She may have hundreds of students come and go in her life.
She may have hundreds of students that touched her life.
I may not be significant to her...

But I only have one spiritual mom, one comrade,
... one person that trully show me that it is possible to live a straight life in this corrupted world.

And God, there were numerous times that You showed Yourself real to me through her.
I know that You are a good God,
but I gotta be honest with You.... sometimes,
just sometimes, You seem so far.
So far that no matter how I run, I'd never catch up with You.

I know that You're the bestest friend a man can have.
... but sometimes, I just can't see You.
There were times when I feel like You dont even care.
There were times when I feel like You were just playing with my heart.
There were times when I feel like You were a mean God.
There were times when I totally lost my hopes.

And in those times, You sent her to me.
Reminding me of how much You love me.
Reminding me to see the bigger plan.

Can we talk about us now?

Lord, remember those times in Albert Park?
Or, remember the exam? when I felt like You literally, tangibly hugged me?

Remember when I told You that I wanted to get my eyebrow pierced?
Remember how I ran to You when my parents fought?
Remember when i cried out when I found out that I had to go back to Indo?

And how about Starbucks Imax?
Remember what I told You?
And the key? And my mobile?
Remember all of those?

Gee Lord, we had a great time together ay?

This, is my heart pouring. Listen to me.

I appreciate the many prayers you've whispered during the worst moments in my life, and the many hopes for my success in all that I dreamed of.
I appreciate the kind wishes, and the gentle words of encouragement that were meant to strengthen my quests.

I appreciate the moments of sorrow you experienced during my failures, and the little gestures of kindness that always made me feel better.
I appreciate your acceptance, your ability to understand, and the sincere friendship that always gave me such security.

I appreciate the wisdom of all the lessons you taught, and the meaning behind the words "unconditional love."
I appreciate all you've done -- every word and gesture.
I know you've been the best there is -- a Someone beyond all compare.

For all You've done, thank you. For all that You are, I love You.

There. A little honesty from me.

Sounds a bit too much?
That, is how much You've touched my life.

....
Sungguh berharga dimataMu Tuhan, kehidupanku
Kau membawa hatiku mendekat erat dengan hatimu
ku mengangkat wajahku memandang keindahanMu Yesus
Syukur bagi kesetiaanMu di sepanjang hidupku.
.... dan kuangkat tanganku, ke tahta kasih karuniaMu
Tak sekalipun Kau tinggalkanku, Yesus sahabatku.
~ Giving My Best ~

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