Ternyata semua org berubah ya :)
Everyone changes.
We change because otherwise we stop.
I changed.
All the more better....
I grew up.
Older.
Wiser :)
In the process,
if the change is bigger than you, the core doesn't so much as change but becomes destabilized.
The core shifts, perhaps to find a new center of gravity to accommodate the changes,
... or because the new you requires a different mindset or a different way of relating to the world around us.
My core has inexorably and slowly shifted over the few years I have been back to Indo.
I can't say I wasn't aware of it.
There were times when it was a conscious decision to change,
... because I thought it would make me a better person.
... because I thought I need to.
... because I thought I was doing it for something greater.
Must admit, Jakarta is a tough place to reclaim oneself.
It's a tough place for you to take off to be alone.
It's a tough place to want to be alone
... because people here just... aren't alone. (or seldom by choice anyway)
It's not a place where you have the luxury of introspection.
It's not a place for self-discovery.
It's not a place to take long walks listening to music. (dipalak iya kali!)
It's not a place to sit down at a cafe for hours and read,
... and probably chat with the owner about what we're reading.
It's not a place to sit down and write.
but then, it's also not a place to be depressed or feel down either.
Im gonna learn to bless this city.
Im gonna learn to have a bigger heart.
I guess now that I'm trying to pin down or face up to some shit,
I can hope that I'm on the right track.
It's the beginning of a new me after all,
.... never a more apt time to begin.
"Don't let fear hold you back."
Everyone changes.
We change because otherwise we stop.
I changed.
All the more better....
I grew up.
Older.
Wiser :)
In the process,
if the change is bigger than you, the core doesn't so much as change but becomes destabilized.
The core shifts, perhaps to find a new center of gravity to accommodate the changes,
... or because the new you requires a different mindset or a different way of relating to the world around us.
My core has inexorably and slowly shifted over the few years I have been back to Indo.
I can't say I wasn't aware of it.
There were times when it was a conscious decision to change,
... because I thought it would make me a better person.
... because I thought I need to.
... because I thought I was doing it for something greater.
Must admit, Jakarta is a tough place to reclaim oneself.
It's a tough place for you to take off to be alone.
It's a tough place to want to be alone
... because people here just... aren't alone. (or seldom by choice anyway)
It's not a place where you have the luxury of introspection.
It's not a place for self-discovery.
It's not a place to take long walks listening to music. (dipalak iya kali!)
It's not a place to sit down at a cafe for hours and read,
... and probably chat with the owner about what we're reading.
It's not a place to sit down and write.
but then, it's also not a place to be depressed or feel down either.
Im gonna learn to bless this city.
Im gonna learn to have a bigger heart.
I guess now that I'm trying to pin down or face up to some shit,
I can hope that I'm on the right track.
It's the beginning of a new me after all,
.... never a more apt time to begin.
"Don't let fear hold you back."
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