All I Want for Christmas....

I know it's a little too late to be asking for christmas present,
... but can I please have my dog back?
Please.

I know.
Can't have him back, can I?

I just wanna dig a hole so deep that noone can see nor touch me.
I need my friggin' space.

I don't need all those speech about 'Piko doesn't want you to be sad'
or 'just let him go..'
or 'musti relain.. biar dikremasi, kan jiwanya udah ama Tuhan' and so on and on and oon..

Dont they think I know that?
Aren't Christian allowed to have grieving moments, too?
Isn't it normal not wanting to imagine how your best buddy for 15 years will be creamated?

And you know what?
As much as he's happy up there,
Im pretty sure he misses me as much as I miss him.

I just wanna be alone for a while.
Ga lama kok. Just for awhile..
I know they all love me...
and I appreciate it. Really.

.. but as of now...
DONT TALK TO ME!!!
Text me, write me a comment, email me or whatever...

JUST DONT TALK TO ME!!!!!!
Please.

Comments

Bucket List

Yep. Been hearing a lot about people dropped dead suddenly. Mulai dari si Adjie Masaid, babenya si Joshua, then just now Emma's friend juga Dadaism died of heart attack. She was 29 years old, just got ,arrayed last October. Life is so fragile. That's why I really hate Andi each time I have to remind him over and over again about healthy lifestyle. Anyway, decided to make a bucket list for myself. 1. Back to NZ 2. Sky dive 3. Vacation to Russia 4. Having more than enough funds for Onya to pursue her degree in England, Oxford University preferably :) 5. Ngeliat Andi punya bodi keren 6. Buying a house for my parents 7. Karet tengsin dijual Hmmm....... Belon kepikiran yg lawn. Nanti di update lg deh

Pippy

We have a new addition in the family. We adopted a Jack Russell from SPCA. Kenapa anjing? Karena seumur idup gua, for as long as I can remember, gua selalu punya anjing. Bukan cuma sekedar "miara" loh, tapi yg bener2 part of the family. Yg paling membekas itu tentu aja Piko ama Picca my last two dogs. Kakah died when I was about 5 months pregnant with Onya. Jadi Onya sama sekali ga sempet ketemu my dogs. Makin kesini gw makin yakin, kalo animals play an important role in kids life (at least di idup gw lah). They learn about responsibility, caring and most importantly compassion. I wanna give a chance buat Onya ngerasain apa yg gw rasain ke Piko n Kakah. The gift of unconditional friendship they gave... And how u learn to love them too. Kenapa adopt? Karena saya ini agak2 idealis tapi realistis. I love animals. Dogs especially. Idealis karena gw mau do the right thing YG GW BISA. Realistis karena, as much I want to.... Gw ga akan sanggup kl disuru jadi...

Another Random Post

It is perhaps a monumental probability that I've simply forgotten what has kept me here. Or evidently, what I have fought so hard for. What wind could be so strong, it banishes hundreds of acres of oaks, yet still ever so gentle enough to persuade even the most delicate of buds to move with, barely, an inch-long effort. My God, seeing kunyuk with that robe triggered something inside. I miss her. I know she'd worked soooo hard to be where she is now. I miss those moments. Though I must admit, maybe, just maybe... Im not running for the same dream anymore. The passion still there, ... it's just become a smaller part of me. Could I have waited this long, and demolished five full years of emotional barricade? Nah. I've walked too far to even think of steeping back. What faith could have, so morbidly, left my judgement impaired? The first scar may be the deepest, but a scar is a scar. ... and one left to bleed without stitches is bound to come undone. Tapi guess what? Im hea...

The Me Inside....

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