Another Note to The Highest

Dear God,

Ko masih pedih ya?
You know what I mean.
I thought I've healed.
... but it was tougher than what I thought I'd be.

Ini sisi 'manusia'-nya seorang kendi.
Kendi-nya Tuhan...
Kendi yg masih harus banyaaak banget belajar.

Pengen banget nyelesai-in apa yg dulu udah dimulai.
Itu aja.
Lord, I need a closure.
.. Im not gonna lie to You.
It's been a very very tough ride.

Tapi liat deh, my hands are open.
... semua I lay it down.
My joys, tears, laughters, gratitudes, pains...
Semua ada disitu, Tuhan.
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

I believe that, Tuhan-nya kendi, ... is a good God.
Tuhan yg punya kontrol penuh atas idupku.
Penuuh sepenuh2nya.

So Lord,
... Do take the wheel.

...............
In my life you're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
................
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without you there to see me through
................
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without you
................

Comments

Bucket List

Yep. Been hearing a lot about people dropped dead suddenly. Mulai dari si Adjie Masaid, babenya si Joshua, then just now Emma's friend juga Dadaism died of heart attack. She was 29 years old, just got ,arrayed last October. Life is so fragile. That's why I really hate Andi each time I have to remind him over and over again about healthy lifestyle. Anyway, decided to make a bucket list for myself. 1. Back to NZ 2. Sky dive 3. Vacation to Russia 4. Having more than enough funds for Onya to pursue her degree in England, Oxford University preferably :) 5. Ngeliat Andi punya bodi keren 6. Buying a house for my parents 7. Karet tengsin dijual Hmmm....... Belon kepikiran yg lawn. Nanti di update lg deh

Pippy

We have a new addition in the family. We adopted a Jack Russell from SPCA. Kenapa anjing? Karena seumur idup gua, for as long as I can remember, gua selalu punya anjing. Bukan cuma sekedar "miara" loh, tapi yg bener2 part of the family. Yg paling membekas itu tentu aja Piko ama Picca my last two dogs. Kakah died when I was about 5 months pregnant with Onya. Jadi Onya sama sekali ga sempet ketemu my dogs. Makin kesini gw makin yakin, kalo animals play an important role in kids life (at least di idup gw lah). They learn about responsibility, caring and most importantly compassion. I wanna give a chance buat Onya ngerasain apa yg gw rasain ke Piko n Kakah. The gift of unconditional friendship they gave... And how u learn to love them too. Kenapa adopt? Karena saya ini agak2 idealis tapi realistis. I love animals. Dogs especially. Idealis karena gw mau do the right thing YG GW BISA. Realistis karena, as much I want to.... Gw ga akan sanggup kl disuru jadi...

Another Random Post

It is perhaps a monumental probability that I've simply forgotten what has kept me here. Or evidently, what I have fought so hard for. What wind could be so strong, it banishes hundreds of acres of oaks, yet still ever so gentle enough to persuade even the most delicate of buds to move with, barely, an inch-long effort. My God, seeing kunyuk with that robe triggered something inside. I miss her. I know she'd worked soooo hard to be where she is now. I miss those moments. Though I must admit, maybe, just maybe... Im not running for the same dream anymore. The passion still there, ... it's just become a smaller part of me. Could I have waited this long, and demolished five full years of emotional barricade? Nah. I've walked too far to even think of steeping back. What faith could have, so morbidly, left my judgement impaired? The first scar may be the deepest, but a scar is a scar. ... and one left to bleed without stitches is bound to come undone. Tapi guess what? Im hea...

The Me Inside....

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