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Hmmm....

I should be sleeping by now,
but the eyes feels so light it wont close.
... thinking about Phil coz of Eka's email.
grrr, if only he was strong enough.

Something about the midnight air breathes a certain kind of peaceful silence.
It's like the whole world is waiting with me.
... and I find an instantaneous, overwhelming comfort.
Just by being.

There are times I wish I could just stop the world from spinning around my head.
Just for one, quiet moment so I could breathe and let go.
... but the thing about life is,
it's not always quite the caramel-coated fudge you always dreamed it would be.
Because we all know that too much sweetness just kills you.

So I guess eventually we can always laugh about it - the way we always do.
Make jokes about what hurts us the most.
Make fun of others with the exact same flaws.
... because we try so hard to ignore the pain sometimes.

But that's okay.

When all seems too much,
this is the time I dare spend to keep my sanity intact.
When you're not around.... anymore.

Because when the music stops playing,
..... I know the whole world would fall asleep with me.

And for one hopeful moment, the entire world is mine to keep.

In rememberence of Phillip Rupert Anderson [1980 - 2003],

Tonight, I've made a decision...
I forgive you for selfishly, idiotically taking your own life.

I forgive you, mate.

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