Skip to main content

Hmmm....

I should be sleeping by now,
but the eyes feels so light it wont close.
... thinking about Phil coz of Eka's email.
grrr, if only he was strong enough.

Something about the midnight air breathes a certain kind of peaceful silence.
It's like the whole world is waiting with me.
... and I find an instantaneous, overwhelming comfort.
Just by being.

There are times I wish I could just stop the world from spinning around my head.
Just for one, quiet moment so I could breathe and let go.
... but the thing about life is,
it's not always quite the caramel-coated fudge you always dreamed it would be.
Because we all know that too much sweetness just kills you.

So I guess eventually we can always laugh about it - the way we always do.
Make jokes about what hurts us the most.
Make fun of others with the exact same flaws.
... because we try so hard to ignore the pain sometimes.

But that's okay.

When all seems too much,
this is the time I dare spend to keep my sanity intact.
When you're not around.... anymore.

Because when the music stops playing,
..... I know the whole world would fall asleep with me.

And for one hopeful moment, the entire world is mine to keep.

In rememberence of Phillip Rupert Anderson [1980 - 2003],

Tonight, I've made a decision...
I forgive you for selfishly, idiotically taking your own life.

I forgive you, mate.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Bucket List

Yep. Been hearing a lot about people dropped dead suddenly. Mulai dari si Adjie Masaid, babenya si Joshua, then just now Emma's friend juga Dadaism died of heart attack. She was 29 years old, just got ,arrayed last October. Life is so fragile. That's why I really hate Andi each time I have to remind him over and over again about healthy lifestyle. Anyway, decided to make a bucket list for myself. 1. Back to NZ 2. Sky dive 3. Vacation to Russia 4. Having more than enough funds for Onya to pursue her degree in England, Oxford University preferably :) 5. Ngeliat Andi punya bodi keren 6. Buying a house for my parents 7. Karet tengsin dijual Hmmm....... Belon kepikiran yg lawn. Nanti di update lg deh

Pippy

We have a new addition in the family. We adopted a Jack Russell from SPCA.  Kenapa anjing? Karena seumur idup gua, for as long as I can remember, gua selalu punya anjing. Bukan cuma sekedar "miara" loh, tapi yg bener2 part of the family.  Yg paling membekas itu tentu aja Piko ama Picca my last two dogs.  Kakah died when I was about 5 months pregnant with Onya. Jadi Onya sama sekali ga sempet ketemu my dogs.  Makin kesini gw makin yakin, kalo animals play an important role in kids life (at least di idup gw lah). They learn about responsibility, caring and most importantly compassion. I wanna give a chance buat Onya ngerasain apa yg gw rasain ke Piko n Kakah. The gift of unconditional friendship they gave... And how u learn to love them too.  Kenapa adopt? Karena saya ini agak2 idealis tapi realistis. I love animals. Dogs especially.  Idealis karena gw mau do the right thing YG GW BISA. Realistis karena, as much I want to.... Gw ga akan sanggup kl disuru jadi...

Another Random Post

It is perhaps a monumental probability that I've simply forgotten what has kept me here. Or evidently, what I have fought so hard for. What wind could be so strong, it banishes hundreds of acres of oaks, yet still ever so gentle enough to persuade even the most delicate of buds to move with, barely, an inch-long effort. My God, seeing kunyuk with that robe triggered something inside. I miss her. I know she'd worked soooo hard to be where she is now. I miss those moments. Though I must admit, maybe, just maybe... Im not running for the same dream anymore. The passion still there, ... it's just become a smaller part of me. Could I have waited this long, and demolished five full years of emotional barricade? Nah. I've walked too far to even think of steeping back. What faith could have, so morbidly, left my judgement impaired? The first scar may be the deepest, but a scar is a scar. ... and one left to bleed without stitches is bound to come undone. Tapi guess what? Im hea...